Life and stuff | From one Demon to another

So weed edibles? Gonna try some tomorrow? Any stories you guys wanna tell me?

How'd it go?

tomorrow just started.

But i'll report back.

what sort of edibles are you taking?

kimd of depends on how strong they are and your weed XP

I hate my job. Ugh. Had a job interview for a much better one last week and should hear something back in a few days. Crossing my fingers. Terrible Atlanta traffic, a job I don't like, dealing with a divorce and everything that comes with it… ugh.

Damn man. Atlanta? That's horrible.

Reenlisted for 6 years in the reserves. Actually got a bonus in the massive downsizing, kept my job, got a promotion that would've been damn near impossible in active duty, and I'm moving to fucking Hawaii. Also, I'm now eligible for an early separation to chill on paid leave for two months.

I can't believe such a good thing happened to me in Texas. The nightmare is almost over brehs.

Getting a cushy office job DY, or are you still gonna have to Solid Snake dudes and crawl through microwave tubes?

So weed edibles? Gonna try some tomorrow? Any stories you guys wanna tell me?

How'd it go?

tomorrow just started.

But i'll report back.

fuck

Getting a cushy office job DY, or are you still gonna have to Solid Snake dudes and crawl through microwave tubes?

Dude its one weekend a month :lol:

I get to chill in Hawaii and get paid to go to school for 2 years before I get to choose exactly where I want to go. I'm gonna be Tom Cruisin' 8-)

Get to get my beach body on point, work with my best friend and army bro, live out a new experience, and I got a phat booty bonus

Getting a cushy office job DY, or are you still gonna have to Solid Snake dudes and crawl through microwave tubes?

Dude its one weekend a month :lol:

I get to chill in Hawaii and get paid to go to school for 2 years before I get to choose exactly where I want to go. I'm gonna be Tom Cruisin' 8-)

Get to get my beach body on point, work with my best friend and army bro, live out a new experience, and I got a phat booty bonus

....I'm writing my congressman.

Seriously though, congrats.

Man... I really appreciate it. Its the happiest I've been in the past 2 years.

So weed edibles? Gonna try some tomorrow? Any stories you guys wanna tell me?

One time my buddy bought a big chocolate bar edible that you can break up like a Hershey bar. The guy at the store told him to only eat one block, so he did and after a few minutes decided he wasn't feeling anything so he ate like 2 or 3 more. I'm pretty sure he was basically out of it the entire rest of the night.

From everything else I've always heard that edibles hit you slower but can often be more potent. So don't be surprised if you don't feel it right away.

So weed edibles? Gonna try some tomorrow? Any stories you guys wanna tell me?

One time my buddy bought a big chocolate bar edible that you can break up like a Hershey bar. The guy at the store told him to only eat one block, so he did and after a few minutes decided he wasn't feeling anything so he ate like 2 or 3 more. I'm pretty sure he was basically out of it the entire rest of the night.

From everything else I've always heard that edibles hit you slower but can often be more potent. So don't be surprised if you don't feel it right away.

duuuuuuude.

I got this brownie cake thing right. I took a slice, waited 30 minutes, knowing that it wouldn't hit me right away, took another piece, 10 minutes, nothing, took another piece.

Went to a class.

HOLY FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

Felt like breeze on the back of neck. I immediately curled up in my seat. Left that class , found somewhere to chill, I'm poretty sure I was a fucking vegetable for aroudn 5 minutes. Could not do shiiiiiiiittttttt. Hung with some friends who also had some, they were fucked. Couldn't complete a sentence without giggling for 2 minutes then restarting the conversation. Shit lasted like 5 hours man.

will do again, definitely different from smoking it.

I've smoked so much that edibles don't really do anything to me unless there's a shit ton of weed infused into whatever I'm eating...my friend and I each had 1 gram cookie and he was knocked the fuck out for the whole night. Like I thought he was going to get sick and die or something. Meanwhile I was just chilling like it was another evening lol

I've smoked a hell of a lot less lately though cause it's beginning to get in the way of stuff I want to do

Reenlisted for 6 years in the reserves. Actually got a bonus in the massive downsizing, kept my job, got a promotion that would've been damn near impossible in active duty, and I'm moving to fucking Hawaii. Also, I'm now eligible for an early separation to chill on paid leave for two months.

I can't believe such a good thing happened to me in Texas. The nightmare is almost over brehs.

And right when you think you're happy, something shitty happens. Idk if you're still in fort hood or not but hope everything's good for you

Reenlisted for 6 years in the reserves. Actually got a bonus in the massive downsizing, kept my job, got a promotion that would've been damn near impossible in active duty, and I'm moving to fucking Hawaii. Also, I'm now eligible for an early separation to chill on paid leave for two months.

I can't believe such a good thing happened to me in Texas. The nightmare is almost over brehs.

And right when you think you're happy, something shitty happens. Idk if you're still in fort hood or not but hope everything's good for you

I'm good. Can't complain.

My friend's husband is still in the hospital though.

There's a guy in the building I work at. He smells like he has some life threatening disease that has left nothing but rotten flesh coming out of him anytime he uses the restroom.

It's bad. It's rancid. It's possibly the worst smell I've ever had to deal with.

And it's a different godawful smell each and every time. Today it smelled like Cheetos, cheddar cheese, and whatever Atlanta smells like during a hot and humid summer after the zombie apocalypse in the Walking Dead.

The worst part? The building only has one restroom. The ventilation is terrible (if it even works) and for some reason there's a crapton of lights in there that generate a ton of heat. We also know who the person that's causing that smell is. We can't do anything about it.

The questions we ask is how anyone can work with him, and thankfully he doesn't work with us. But my gawwwd, for the love of everything, take a fucking shower.

So last Wednesday I threw all my weed paraphernalia away. I had smoked after work again but I began having my anxiety/panic attacks. Quitting/slowing down is something I wanted to since last year. But sometimes you can't control it, shit controls you. But I knew deep down inside being a pothead wasn't really the way I wanted to go. So I took the slowest walk to the dumpster to throw it all out.

It's been such an amazing decision. I'd smoke again if friends were around and have it, I don't really have anything against it. I just have very addicting tendencies and I can't control it if I'm in ownership of it. Suddenly I'm not a negative nancy 24/7 and I'm getting quality sleep and I have the energy to do shit I want to do. I'm also not paranoid all the time thinking the world hates me...not that it's something I always thought. But I would often leave rehearsals/work feeling like complete shit cause I would wonder too much what everybody else thinks.

So long story short : I don't need weed to feel good. I don't think the drug itself was addicting. Just the habit (Which I guess is the drug?) It's been pretty tough the last few nights cause I'll sit at my desk and still feel completely wired up, which I don't necessarily like, but I guess that's what wine is for! I don't like being shitfaced but I also want to feel relaxed when I want to.



Next time I'm going to post about going to rehab for alcoholism lol.

I've never been to Hawaii so maybe their portions are bigger. Restaurants in California don't seem too crazy compared to the ones in Australia.

So last Wednesday I threw all my weed paraphernalia away. I had smoked after work again but I began having my anxiety/panic attacks. Quitting/slowing down is something I wanted to since last year. But sometimes you can't control it, shit controls you. But I knew deep down inside being a pothead wasn't really the way I wanted to go. So I took the slowest walk to the dumpster to throw it all out.

It's been such an amazing decision. I'd smoke again if friends were around and have it, I don't really have anything against it. I just have very addicting tendencies and I can't control it if I'm in ownership of it. Suddenly I'm not a negative nancy 24/7 and I'm getting quality sleep and I have the energy to do shit I want to do. I'm also not paranoid all the time thinking the world hates me…not that it's something I always thought. But I would often leave rehearsals/work feeling like complete shit cause I would wonder too much what everybody else thinks.

So long story short : I don't need weed to feel good. I don't think the drug itself was addicting. Just the habit (Which I guess is the drug?) It's been pretty tough the last few nights cause I'll sit at my desk and still feel completely wired up, which I don't necessarily like, but I guess that's what wine is for! I don't like being shitfaced but I also want to feel relaxed when I want to.



Next time I'm going to post about going to rehab for alcoholism lol.

I spent two years in space smoking 24/7, and it took leaving that whole circle behind to really get out of it. Weed definitely is addictive, it's just not going to murder you if you try to quit like heroin does. That doesn't mean it's easy to put down if it's a big part of your life. It's also definitely bad for you if you're using it a lot, it depletes dopamine levels, makes you sensitive, prone to making dumb decisions, and lazy. You've done the right thing - now do yourself a huge favour and don't go back to that lifestyle. It'll take a little while for your brain's reward system to recalibrate.

it depletes dopamine levels, makes you sensitive, prone to making dumb decisions, and lazy.

That's the best explanation of Heat fans I've ever heard.

(just kidding. sorta)

I spent two years in space smoking 24/7, and it took leaving that whole circle behind to really get out of it. Weed definitely is addictive, it's just not going to murder you if you try to quit like heroin does. That doesn't mean it's easy to put down if it's a big part of your life. It's also definitely bad for you if you're using it a lot, it depletes dopamine levels, makes you sensitive, prone to making dumb decisions, and lazy. You've done the right thing - now do yourself a huge favour and don't go back to that lifestyle. It'll take a little while for your brain's reward system to recalibrate.

Yeah man I feel like I've been tested this week. Dealer texted "Where you been, it's been a while" Told him I had to go on a hiatus and that I'd be fine another few weeks. Was at a gig last week when I told a friend I had quit and he said "Dude you smoked, I had no idea I thought you were so straight laced, want to go smoke?"

I've been having the craziest dreams since then too, and I looked it up and apparently that's supposed to happen. I also notice that I've been getting 8 hours of legitimately good sleep and not having glorified baked naps at night.

I've pretty much been smoking non stop since the summer of 2008. When I first started a quarter lasted me a semester. Then it would be a month, and then sometimes less than 2 weeks but this past year I slowed down, but it was still a lot. Shit was crazy.

I spent two years in space smoking 24/7, and it took leaving that whole circle behind to really get out of it. Weed definitely is addictive, it's just not going to murder you if you try to quit like heroin does. That doesn't mean it's easy to put down if it's a big part of your life. It's also definitely bad for you if you're using it a lot, it depletes dopamine levels, makes you sensitive, prone to making dumb decisions, and lazy. You've done the right thing - now do yourself a huge favour and don't go back to that lifestyle. It'll take a little while for your brain's reward system to recalibrate.

Yeah man I feel like I've been tested this week. Dealer texted "Where you been, it's been a while" Told him I had to go on a hiatus and that I'd be fine another few weeks. Was at a gig last week when I told a friend I had quit and he said "Dude you smoked, I had no idea I thought you were so straight laced, want to go smoke?"

I've been having the craziest dreams since then too, and I looked it up and apparently that's supposed to happen. I also notice that I've been getting 8 hours of legitimately good sleep and not having glorified baked naps at night.

I've pretty much been smoking non stop since the summer of 2008. When I first started a quarter lasted me a semester. Then it would be a month, and then sometimes less than 2 weeks but this past year I slowed down, but it was still a lot. Shit was crazy.

Yep, two weeks is what it used to last me, if that. I used to share a downtown condo with high functioning smokers - friends would come over, smoke all night, then get up, put on a tie and go to consulting or junior exec gigs in the morning. Financial guys (at least in their 20s) can party hard and then shrug it off the next day. Knowing what I know now, in retrospect I'm lucky that I wasn't around harder stuff.

But it hit me way harder than it did those guys. My roommate was a well off CBC from Vancouver and we had a line on some really, really good West Coast hydro, and it was like it was made for me. I used to hear music in my head when I got really blasted, like the sound of Heaven opening up. I wound up getting way too into it - it made everything better, sex, food, videogames, movies, sports, TV, everything seemed less good without it. It derailed me for a couple of years. I'd go to family events high, hoping nobody would notice. I had a lot of "colds." And it's no big deal, because it's just weed, right? Part of the problem was that I mixed tobacco in, so I was hooked on the smoking aspect of it too - except compared to a good joint, cigarettes just felt pointless, like air. So when it was time for a smoke, it was time for herb.

I looked at where I was at, doing nothing, breathing getting worse, not in grad school or Japan where I should have been. So I moved out, and lost my dealer's number (it helps that he was slightly paranoid ex frat guy with other stuff going on and wasn't going to follow up with me) and got a new job in the suburbs. This was all way harder and much more depressing than it sounds, but it also saved my life from taking a seriously wrong turn that I might never have recovered from. It took about 2 months, maybe 3 for the cravings to really go away. But luckily, once it did, it was mostly gone.

I've bought some a few times since then, and when I have I've just straight binge-smoked it. So I know it's not something I should keep around. But at the same time, it doesn't feel like it used to, just kind of empty, so I don't feel compelled to keep buying it. I realize now I was using it to fill up holes in my life at the time. Deep down your brain knows it's fake, unearned pleasure. But it will take it if it thinks that's the best it can get. But if you can fill those holes with real things - a legit woman, a career going in the right direction, real down to earth friends who aren't about getting twisted all the time, suddenly the drugs seem kind of pointless; they just threaten to rob you of that life you've worked so hard to put together.

This Zoloft has helped me so much, I can actually deal with my problems now instead of feeling tense and hopeless all the time. Obsessive thoughts still come around, but then they go away instead of lingering forever. So yeah, I feel normal for the first time in awhile.

Going to volunteer for an environmental lobbying groups, teach kids financial and economic literacy this Summer. Should be cool.

I'm moving to fucking Hawaii.

Deathly jealous. If I was sure I could find some good regular work I'd have moved there already. Will probably head there for a week or two after the wedding as our small honeymoon and then Japan as the full honeymoon at some point later.

I'm moving to fucking Hawaii.

Deathly jealous. If I was sure I could find some good regular work I'd have moved there already. Will probably head there for a week or two after the wedding as our small honeymoon and then Japan as the full honeymoon at some point later.

Congrats, man. Didn't even know you were engaged.

This Zoloft has helped me so much, I can actually deal with my problems now instead of feeling tense and hopeless all the time. Obsessive thoughts still come around, but then they go away instead of lingering forever. So yeah, I feel normal for the first time in awhile.

Going to volunteer for an environmental lobbying groups, teach kids financial and economic literacy this Summer. Should be cool.

Good to hear! I actually tried to step down from 50mg to 25mg recently and it hasn't been going well. I was at the pharmacy to get a refill last night and they told me I still had one refill of the 50 left so I had them give me that and I started on it again this morning.

This Zoloft has helped me so much, I can actually deal with my problems now instead of feeling tense and hopeless all the time. Obsessive thoughts still come around, but then they go away instead of lingering forever. So yeah, I feel normal for the first time in awhile.

Going to volunteer for an environmental lobbying groups, teach kids financial and economic literacy this Summer. Should be cool.

Good to hear! I actually tried to step down from 50mg to 25mg recently and it hasn't been going well. I was at the pharmacy to get a refill last night and they told me I still had one refill of the 50 left so I had them give me that and I started on it again this morning.

I'm sorry to hear that :( I hope you start feeling better soon.

This Zoloft has helped me so much, I can actually deal with my problems now instead of feeling tense and hopeless all the time. Obsessive thoughts still come around, but then they go away instead of lingering forever. So yeah, I feel normal for the first time in awhile.

Going to volunteer for an environmental lobbying groups, teach kids financial and economic literacy this Summer. Should be cool.

Good to hear! I actually tried to step down from 50mg to 25mg recently and it hasn't been going well. I was at the pharmacy to get a refill last night and they told me I still had one refill of the 50 left so I had them give me that and I started on it again this morning.

I'm sorry to hear that :( I hope you start feeling better soon.

I'll be okay its easier to deal with stuff like this now having been through it before. Still going back up on dosage is probably something I needed to do because I was coming close to emotional breakdowns out of nowhere and I already told one acquaintance/friend to fuck off this week. So yeah. I've also been sleeping way too much lately.

House warming party was a good success. I'm awake at 5:26AM, probably gonna watch Liverpool game cause one of the guests is from Liverpool. Housemate is passed out, embarrissing pics taken. Catwoman girl I was hoping to show up didn't, too drunk to explain.

Hmmm, I have the opportunity to go to Taiwan this summer and just teach my dad's boss's son English. They pretty much want me to mentor him and then take him around America... Kinda weird, but hey it might be fun.

Hmmm, I have the opportunity to go to Taiwan this summer and just teach my dad's boss's son English. They pretty much want me to mentor him and then take him around America… Kinda weird, but hey it might be fun.

I've been asked to do similar stuff (Teach music and English)

But I don't think I'm long for that life. I like going back but living there...I think I'm totally American and would fail. On the other hand the amount of poon you can get solely because you're from America is pretty sweet.

In other news I'm becoming an uncle sometime tonight or tomorrow. I guess I'm going to have to set a good example?

Had a date Friday, thought it went well. Texted girl on Sunday (probably should've texted Saturday but I slept through most of the day), told her I had a good time and I'd like to hang out with her again soon. No response so far.

Oh well, it was my first date of the year so no big loss.

Had a date Friday, thought it went well. Texted girl on Sunday (probably should've texted Saturday but I slept through most of the day), told her I had a good time and I'd like to hang out with her again soon. No response so far.

Oh well, it was my first date of the year so no big loss.

Yeah, don't let it phase you. Just get goin again.

Joining the Citizens Climate Lobby to try to petition the government to institute a carbon tax, pretty excited. Hopefully my letter writing skills don't suck.

Quick question I might have to move to Houston from NY for a job before the summer is over. I'm doing my due diligence so I got to ask. Is there any neighborhoods I should avoid due to crime, racism, High Cancer rates?

On the flip are there any neighborhoods that I should try to move into for a higher standard of living etc?

Considering the amount of whiney rockets fans around, you should get an answer.

Reading "How We Know What Isn't So," this is a book that Vag might want to read.

Had a date Friday, thought it went well. Texted girl on Sunday (probably should've texted Saturday but I slept through most of the day), told her I had a good time and I'd like to hang out with her again soon. No response so far.

Oh well, it was my first date of the year so no big loss.

Yeah, don't let it phase you. Just get goin again.

I'm cool with it. She actually texted me a week later to explain but I didn't even respond. Haven't had any other prospects though.

Such is my life, stagnant.

Ugh. Stress.

I'm gonna be crazy busy this next month or so.

gonna be back in Florida for good in the next couple weeks. Hopefully I don't come back to Jamrock for a long time.

I have 85 days of paid leave when I get my paperwork done.


HAHAHAHAHA

I have 85 days of paid leave when I get my paperwork done.


HAHAHAHAHA

The army sounds kind of awesome aside from the army part.

If I could join the army without doing army stuff, I would.

Joining the Army is like dating a stripper. _______________________________________

Joining the Army is like dating a stripper. _______________________________________

I've dated a stripper and liked it. Should I join the Army?

I left work at 9:35pm tonight. Go me.

I have been on a message board that spawned from the Madden Social boards on GameFaqs since 2004 and I feel like I barely know those people (because they were kids when I was already an adult, probably). I been here for barely a week and yall seem to keep it more real than that other place. I guess that’s what happens when you actually have adult things to discuss.

 

I know yall don’t know me from anyone, but I see some of you struggling and I can confirm that the struggle is real. Some things I blame my parents for; like, they own their house—it’s paid for!!! That’s something I can’t say about ANYONE but them, and they’re only in their 50’s, yet they never showed me how to get it done. How to set a mortgage, what to put down, etc. etc. etc. Whenever I move out of an apartment I’ll basically have to learn all of that on my own. Then there’s stuff that nobody can prepare you for like marriage.

 

So here’s the tl;dr version of my life.

 

2002-graduated from HS

2003-got saved; met future wife a month later

2004-dumbed HS GF of four years over the phone; got engaged to future wife

2005-got married

2006-kid #1; graduated with English degree; went into grad school for Ph.D. in English

2007-found black porn torrent site and got addicted; kid #2

2008-had an emotional affair with a side-chick from the HS days over skype/email and wife found the emails; confessed porn addiction

2009-started Celebrate Recovery; kid #3

2011-passed comprehensive exams

2012-pass pre-dissertation exam, granted ABD (all but dissertation) status)

2013-worst year ever. 49ers lose; Spurs lose; separated from wife (and reconciled); college teaching contract expired; have Master’s degree and reduced to working fast food; was paying rent off credit card at one point

 

2014-living check to check, but better than years prior; dropped out of grad school

 

I managed to get a job at Meijer Distribution that started at $10/hr. Seems the best I can do here in Michigan. My wife and I might move back home to Alabama if we can’t do better. She has a job interview today for a $14/hr job and she doesn’t even have a degree (yet—she’s finishing this summer). I currently make $11/hr with my Master’s, though I had my first round of interviews for supervisor that’s supposed to be about $17, which is what I made teaching just 20 hours/week with my bachelors.

 

Maybe we’ll actually get off of food stamps…eventually.

 

I read some of your stories, and I’m jealous that life can just nuke your dreams into orbit, and you can just shrug and travel the world, do whatever. I have too many responsibilities for that.

 

 

Damn man. That is a real struggle. I was at work past 9:30pm last night and was hating on myself something fierce, but that shit isn't even a hiccup in comparison. Keep your head up. You'll find something that suits you best.

Have you thought about looking for a job somewhere else where the school systems aren't, well, Detroit-tier? Your masters might be more useful in a better-to-do state.

damn bro

i couldn't do michigan at all... i went for some volunteer stuff and even that was enough

The state of Michigan is a dump—not just Detroit. Detroit (and Flint) make the headlines, but the entire state feels the “rust belt” effect on top of the economic recession. My wife’s job is to assist other people find jobs and I was lucky to get what I got, because it doesn’t seem like companies with REAL opportunities are hiring, which is ironic because only in the past two years did Michigan cease to have a NEGATIVE population growth (grew by 0.1% from July 2012-July 2013 which is about 13,000 more people, but that’s just birth/death ratio; if you look at the aggregate numbers of domestic immigration/emigration, Michigan is less 10,000 residents than it was last year). The population was in rapid decline since 2005—also ironic because I moved here in 2006.

 All of that was a digression. Michigan jobs are limited to sales retail food service and manufacture on its death bed. do you want to be a gas station attendant? We have jobs for you

I considered teaching in secondary education despite having a major in English rather than Education, and I aimed for “Detroit-tier,” which was New Orleans. I figured that my teaching experience/knowledge would get me through.

 

Nope.

 

I am still processing what happened during that interview/teaching sample I did a month ago, but in the two classes that I had to teach for one day, I felt like I regressed back to the days of middle school when the black girls I was crushing on would call me oreo/white boy/etc. because I speak in standard English. Because I was (trying to ) teach the Odyssey, and with every other word I said, some of the girls would giggle. At one point I had to re-define “scoundrel” three or four different ways because these 9th graders were like “what dat mean? What dat mean?” One student even said that I “talk funny.” That hurt deeply, more than I can adequately express here.

 

Some students took my presence as a queue to put their heads down and go to sleep. One of my “mistakes” was to ignore them because in secondary ed., you are supposed to be the disciplinarian and encourage students to be active participants. In college, if you want to spend all that money to sleep in class, I can just give you a 0 for participation (and mark you absent if I choose) and focus on more important things/students.

 

I took that as a strong personal lesson that despite all my knowledge, I’m simply incompatible with the “black urban.” I guess I’m one of those “talented tenth” “uppity negroes” who, as Avon told Stringer, “not hard enough for [the street] and not smart enough for [the real world’.” I specialize in Af Am lit/cuture, which is the ULTIMATE crushing irony that for better or worse, what I have accomplished in terms of education is what “the black community” has aspired of its youth since schools were desegregated. But from what I’ve seen, there is certainly a disconnect between the dreams of the past and the realities oftoday. That school I tried to get a teaching job is graduating its first HS class ever; education was already jacked in NO before Katrina delivered the coup de grace.

 

So now I’m trying to aim for community/small colleges where Masters degrees are adequate credentials. Problem with that is, as with the economy, education has changed. So I can teach 1 course per semester for something like $1000….FOR THE ENTIRE SEMESTER. So you have to stack classes just to get a living wage. WHO CAN TEACH 6+ CLASSES????? There’s a surplus of “us” but not enough jobs, so there’s a lot of part-time adjunct stuff semester-by-semester. So it’s like “seasonal work” for educated folks. Man, when you hear education is jacked, they talk about the students, but it’s rough on the other side too.

 

And we have not given up on Operation: GTF0 Michigan. My inlaws are keeping the kids from the end of June to mid-August so that my wife and I can focus our energies on what our next step will be. I said it would be a damn shame if I had to move back in with my parents—at the age of 30, wife, three kids, and all—temporarily in Alabama, but it’s looking that way. Eking out an existence which has no fulfillment is not worth enduring the brutal winters here. Really, the only things that were anchoring us were the 12 month lease on our apartment which ends in July, and our church, which besides friends, community, etc that has provided, they did things like pay our rent and utilities when we couldn’t. Hell, they paid for an (unprecedented in our church’s history) 15 sessions of professional (marital) counseling out of our Care Ministry. Most ppl get something like 8 sessions and they might extend based upon the severity of the circumstances. It took me 8 sessions just by myself before it was safe to ask my wife to join. That’s how jacked I was.

 

So it’s hard to leave that “security blanket,” you know?

 

I mean I had some problems before marriage (like the “white boy” identity issues), but graduate school was an entirely new trauma for which I was totally unprepared, and in nursing my wounds of overwhelming feelings of intellectual inferiority (which are false, but academia is pretentious enough to fool anyone), I exacerbated my video game/porn addictions while neglecting my wife and kids. When I was trying to escape, I left the important things behind.

 

Tl;dr version pt 2: life is complicated, and it sucks most of the time, but there are some things worth living for. The move back to ‘Bama is 1000 miles and there is no guarantee that my employment options are greater there than here while working something I like. 


 

 

 

 

 

 

;_;

That's some shit man. Any particular reason you are keeping yourself to the midwest? Have you looked at the coasts?