The Gang Ruins The National Basketball Association
Episode Summary:
This year on It's Always Slummy Sam Hinkie (played by Danny Devito) entices the gang to join his basketball team with promise of glory. Dennis (played by Michael Carter Williams) sees the complete lack of talent on the roster after the first game and immediately decides to throw aside team basketball and showcase his talents in hopes to be traded in the near future. Mac (played by Nerlens Noel) buys into Sam's plan and despite a complete lack of offensive ability, is able to compensate on defense where his excitement actually does some good. Charlie ( played by Luc Mbah a Moute) is utterly lost due to his illiteracy but demands the ball frequently to try and fool his teammates. Dee (played by Joel Embiid) is overjoyed at the opportunity of playing but is sidelined when she becomes injured before the first game and spends her time sulking on the sidelines. It is revealed in the last act that Sam simply put this team together to fail so he may acquire some actual talent in the draft. Upon figuring out his scheme the gang rallies together, determined to prove Sam wrong. They finish the season with the league's worst record. The episode closes with Sam standing next to Allen Iverson at lottery night where Philadelphia lucks into the 4th overall pick in the draft. Cut to black.
Eastern Conference
November Record: 0-16
They're dead Jim.
November Record: 3-14
Most people thought they'd be doing better with SVJ running things, but it hasn't paid off yet. Of course this is just year one, you can expect Detroit to have their fingers crossed come lotto night.
November Record: 4-14
What the fuck happened?
November Record: 4-14
You could blame their struggles on the triangle, or complete lack of talent. You could blame their record on their coach's learning curve, or forcing their players into a system instead of building a system around their players. You could say they're terrible because they haven't had Phil around long enough, or that they are where they are because Dolan's been around too long. Or you could save your breath and say they're The Knicks.
November Record:4-10
They started off alright, they started November above .500 and then had 3 3-game losing streaks.
November Record: 7-12
Magic are playing better than most expected and aren't totally out of the playoff race just yet. With that said they could just as easily sink and re-join the basement dwellers of the league.
November Record: 6-9
Hollins has The Nets playing a tedious style of basketball that may not even ensure a playoff berth, what's the point?
November Record: 7-10
Indiana was expected to be God awful after losing Paul George to injury and Lance Stephenson to free agency, and sometimes they are. But other times, albeit not as frequently, they are alright.
November Record: 9-8
Wade has already missed a handful of games, The year of The Bosh started strong and tapered off to average. They still can't rebound and don't have the best player in the league to rely on anymore. If not for the cushy Eastern Conference Wade would be in a suit in June...he probably will be anyway but in our reality The Heat will still be playing.
November Record: 8-7
The team hasn't clicked just yet and without a a defensive presence in the middle you can expect them to continue to struggle. Lebron proved yet again that nothing good can come from returning home.
November Record:10-8
Another unexpected team, The Bucks, have put together a respectable season. I haven't watched many Bucks basketball games because they're The Bucks, so I can't comment much further.
November Record: 9-6
Improving on a surprisingly decent season last year, Atlanta may give someone a tough out in the playoffs and no one in Atlanta will know.
November Record: 11-6
Rose is hurt again. Now if you're reading this a few months from now don't be shocked if this is still accurate.
November Record: 10-5
The addition of Paul Pierce seems to be working out. I guess the problem with a team of Wall, Nene and Gortat was that they're weren't soft enough.
November Record: 13-4
They're #1 in The East. With Demar down they've lost some of their lead over Washington and it's hard seeing them keep their seeding without him.
Western Conference
November Record: 4-13
Julius Randle is done for the season. The world is a cold, dark place.
November Record: 4-11
Martin, Pek and Rubio are out due to injury and The Wolves have stumbled as a result. They weren't expected to be a playoff team but now they may be a lotto team.
November Record: 5-12
Russ is back and brought a W with him. KD will be back soon and OKC's rush to the playoffs begins. It's likely to be one of the best running storylines this season.
November Record: 5-12
Hayward has been great, Utah has not. Their young guards seem to be unable to reach the reasonable level of competency expected of them so far this season.
November Record: 7-8
Anthony Davis is putting together an MVP season, but unfortunately New Orleans front office put together a shaky roster.
November Record: 8-8
Brian Shaw can't coach.
November Record: 9-8
Cousins is another player who might be in the MVP mix come season's end. Sacramento has looked playoff ready at times, but only when Cousins is on the floor.
November Record: 10-8
While currently being in playoff position, they seem like a likely candidate to be bounced if and when OKC rallies back later this season. The addition of Thomas seems be working but they still lack a top tier player to get them to the next level.
November Record: 11-5
Griffin CP3 and even Crawford have done their part but their putrid bench lies in wait to spoil their playoff run.
November Record: 13-5
I just wonder how you can expect to continue to win when Jameer Nelson plays 25 minutes a game.
November Record: 12-4
After a rough start to the season San Antonio righted the ship and look somewhat like the well oiled machine we saw last year.
November Record: 13-4
Dwight's out with a busted knee and Harden has been forced to play crappy D instead of his usual shitty D.
November Record: 13-4
Their bench is still iffy but they've been able to get positive minutes out of Chris Kaman. You can't take that away from them.
November Record: 14-2
Riding a 9 game win streak into December off the backs of Steph and Klay. The latter performing at levels not many believed he could.
November Record: 15-2
Marc Gasol is having an amazing season. He's on a short list of players who should be considered for MVP, his team is well built and they're currently sitting atop the entire league. He's certainly leaving this offseason to spearhead a rebuilding effort in his 30s.
Episode Summary:
This year on It's Always Slummy Sam Hinkie (played by Danny Devito) entices the gang to join his basketball team with promise of glory. Dennis (played by Michael Carter Williams) sees the complete lack of talent on the roster after the first game and immediately decides to throw aside team basketball and showcase his talents in hopes to be traded in the near future. Mac (played by Nerlens Noel) buys into Sam's plan and despite a complete lack of offensive ability, is able to compensate on defense where his excitement actually does some good. Charlie ( played by Luc Mbah a Moute) is utterly lost due to his illiteracy but demands the ball frequently to try and fool his teammates. Dee (played by Joel Embiid) is overjoyed at the opportunity of playing but is sidelined when she becomes injured before the first game and spends her time sulking on the sidelines. It is revealed in the last act that Sam simply put this team together to fail so he may acquire some actual talent in the draft. Upon figuring out his scheme the gang rallies together, determined to prove Sam wrong. They finish the season with the league's worst record. The episode closes with Sam standing next to Allen Iverson at lottery night where Philadelphia lucks into the 4th overall pick in the draft. Cut to black.
Eastern Conference
November Record: 0-16They're dead Jim.
November Record: 3-14Most people thought they'd be doing better with SVJ running things, but it hasn't paid off yet. Of course this is just year one, you can expect Detroit to have their fingers crossed come lotto night.
November Record: 4-14What the fuck happened?
November Record: 4-14You could blame their struggles on the triangle, or complete lack of talent. You could blame their record on their coach's learning curve, or forcing their players into a system instead of building a system around their players. You could say they're terrible because they haven't had Phil around long enough, or that they are where they are because Dolan's been around too long. Or you could save your breath and say they're The Knicks.
November Record:4-10They started off alright, they started November above .500 and then had 3 3-game losing streaks.
November Record: 7-12Magic are playing better than most expected and aren't totally out of the playoff race just yet. With that said they could just as easily sink and re-join the basement dwellers of the league.
November Record: 6-9Hollins has The Nets playing a tedious style of basketball that may not even ensure a playoff berth, what's the point?
November Record: 7-10Indiana was expected to be God awful after losing Paul George to injury and Lance Stephenson to free agency, and sometimes they are. But other times, albeit not as frequently, they are alright.
November Record: 9-8Wade has already missed a handful of games, The year of The Bosh started strong and tapered off to average. They still can't rebound and don't have the best player in the league to rely on anymore. If not for the cushy Eastern Conference Wade would be in a suit in June...he probably will be anyway but in our reality The Heat will still be playing.
November Record: 8-7The team hasn't clicked just yet and without a a defensive presence in the middle you can expect them to continue to struggle. Lebron proved yet again that nothing good can come from returning home.
November Record:10-8Another unexpected team, The Bucks, have put together a respectable season. I haven't watched many Bucks basketball games because they're The Bucks, so I can't comment much further.
November Record: 9-6Improving on a surprisingly decent season last year, Atlanta may give someone a tough out in the playoffs and no one in Atlanta will know.
November Record: 11-6 Rose is hurt again. Now if you're reading this a few months from now don't be shocked if this is still accurate.
November Record: 10-5The addition of Paul Pierce seems to be working out. I guess the problem with a team of Wall, Nene and Gortat was that they're weren't soft enough.
November Record: 13-4They're #1 in The East. With Demar down they've lost some of their lead over Washington and it's hard seeing them keep their seeding without him.
Western Conference
November Record: 4-13Julius Randle is done for the season. The world is a cold, dark place.
November Record: 4-11Martin, Pek and Rubio are out due to injury and The Wolves have stumbled as a result. They weren't expected to be a playoff team but now they may be a lotto team.
November Record: 5-12Russ is back and brought a W with him. KD will be back soon and OKC's rush to the playoffs begins. It's likely to be one of the best running storylines this season.
November Record: 5-12Hayward has been great, Utah has not. Their young guards seem to be unable to reach the reasonable level of competency expected of them so far this season.
November Record: 7-8Anthony Davis is putting together an MVP season, but unfortunately New Orleans front office put together a shaky roster.
November Record: 8-8Brian Shaw can't coach.
November Record: 9-8Cousins is another player who might be in the MVP mix come season's end. Sacramento has looked playoff ready at times, but only when Cousins is on the floor.
November Record: 10-8While currently being in playoff position, they seem like a likely candidate to be bounced if and when OKC rallies back later this season. The addition of Thomas seems be working but they still lack a top tier player to get them to the next level.
November Record: 11-5Griffin CP3 and even Crawford have done their part but their putrid bench lies in wait to spoil their playoff run.
November Record: 13-5I just wonder how you can expect to continue to win when Jameer Nelson plays 25 minutes a game.
November Record: 12-4After a rough start to the season San Antonio righted the ship and look somewhat like the well oiled machine we saw last year.
November Record: 13-4Dwight's out with a busted knee and Harden has been forced to play crappy D instead of his usual shitty D.
November Record: 13-4Their bench is still iffy but they've been able to get positive minutes out of Chris Kaman. You can't take that away from them.
November Record: 14-2Riding a 9 game win streak into December off the backs of Steph and Klay. The latter performing at levels not many believed he could.
November Record: 15-2Marc Gasol is having an amazing season. He's on a short list of players who should be considered for MVP, his team is well built and they're currently sitting atop the entire league. He's certainly leaving this offseason to spearhead a rebuilding effort in his 30s.
By viakadoreilo?Unfortunately no, not yet. Will have to bake it in.
can we have a quick and dirty lock thread?
Afflalo really can't stand his irrelevance can he. Bad show.
Afflalo hitting Burks in the head and being generally a fucking moron.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xelxeimyt8&feature;=youtu.be
Afflalo hitting Burks in the head and being generally a fucking moron.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xelxeimyt8&feature;=youtu.be
By iwmtb19The Clippers have made 7x as many threes as the Timberwolves, Flip has this shit down.His offense gets them mid range jump shots and his horrific zone gets the other team cleans looks at 3s.
That said, they weren't this bad on defense with Rubio in the lineup.
By norichanBy Morisdiehard get an avatar already, geez.only jpgs? god damn it now i have to find a new avi
you can convert most images using zamzar
By rodeoclownBy iwmtb19The Clippers have made 7x as many threes as the Timberwolves, Flip has this shit down.His offense gets them mid range jump shots and his horrific zone gets the other team cleans looks at 3s.
That said, they weren't this bad on defense with Rubio in the lineup.
Sure, Rubio's a really good defender and I expect the Wolves to be decent once everyone gets healthy. This is just hilarious coaching from Flip I think.
Sam Amico @SamAmicoFSO
Top 5 @nbadleague: Brady Heslip, Reno 34.8; Earl Clark, RGV 28.8; Manny Harris, LA 27.6; Damien Wilkins, Iowa 24.3; Seth Curry, Erie 24.2.
Can't believe no one is signing Heslip, he was the best player at Baylor the last two years. Wolves had him in training camp I think?
Since Moris's OP so clearly laid out the competitive imbalance between the Eastern and Western Conferences, here's a great new Zach Lowe column about the effort to fix the playoffs:
http://grantland.com/the-triangle/searching-for-balance-the-nbas-lopsided-conference-problem/
http://grantland.com/the-triangle/searching-for-balance-the-nbas-lopsided-conference-problem/
By iwmtb19Oh, it is. It's really like he hasn't been paying attention to NBA trends since he was in Detroit. Everybody takes lots of 3s now, Flip! He does have one thing on Rick Adelman, though, and that is he very clearly recognizes which of his guys deserves minutes and who doesn't. He absolutely knows they get killed every time LaVine enters the game for Mo, he's just stuck right now.By rodeoclownBy iwmtb19The Clippers have made 7x as many threes as the Timberwolves, Flip has this shit down.His offense gets them mid range jump shots and his horrific zone gets the other team cleans looks at 3s.
That said, they weren't this bad on defense with Rubio in the lineup.
Sure, Rubio's a really good defender and I expect the Wolves to be decent once everyone gets healthy. This is just hilarious coaching from Flip I think.
By kinggondoSince Moris's OP so clearly laid out the competitive imbalance between the Eastern and Western Conferences, here's a great new Zach Lowe column about the effort to fix the playoffs:58 game regular season with a 1-16 playoffs would be ideal but there is no way that the teams are giving up 24 games a year. Adding more games to balance the schedule would be a step in the wrong direction and I don't think the tournament ideas would be enough.
http://grantland.com/the-triangle/searching-for-balance-the-nbas-lopsided-conference-problem/
By vlatkoZiller's plan was pretty good. Teams should play geographical rivals more often. It would create more interest in the regular season.By kinggondoSince Moris's OP so clearly laid out the competitive imbalance between the Eastern and Western Conferences, here's a great new Zach Lowe column about the effort to fix the playoffs:58 game regular season with a 1-16 playoffs would be ideal but there is no way that the teams are giving up 24 games a year. Adding more games to balance the schedule would be a step in the wrong direction and I don't think the tournament ideas would be enough.
http://grantland.com/the-triangle/searching-for-balance-the-nbas-lopsided-conference-problem/
I'm not gonna pretend I have all the answers, but something needs to change.
...
In completely unrelated news, Alex Abrines (Thunder stash pick) is currently the best perimeter shooter in Europe. :D
http://twitter.com/mundodeportivo/status/539793475806691328/photo/1
seeding 1-16 no matter the conference is nice but the fact that the teams in the west actually have to fight for their playoff spot is pretty much the only interesting thing about this nba season.
I'm glad the Clippers are winning against bad/injury-depleted opponents, but it would be nice to see us get a win against real competition. Our only win against a Western playoff team that wasn't depleted by injuries was against the Trailblazers and Suns. We got destroyed by the Grizzlies and Warriors and blew a big lead against the Spurs. The Clippers have a pretty easy schedule for the next 2 weeks, but then we play the Spurs, Warriors, and Raptors within a week around Christmas.
By kinggondoSince Moris's OP so clearly laid out the competitive imbalance between the Eastern and Western Conferences, here's a great new Zach Lowe column about the effort to fix the playoffs:
http://grantland.com/the-triangle/searching-for-balance-the-nbas-lopsided-conference-problem/
This is the most important part:
| year_id |w_h2h |
+---------+--------+
| 2014 | 70.8% |
| 2013 | 58.2% |
| 2012 | 57.8% |
| 2011 | 58.0% |
| 2010 | 54.7% |
| 2009 | 48.7% |
| 2008 | 57.3% |
| 2007 | 57.1% |
| 2006 | 56.0% |
| 2005 | 56.9% |
| 2004 | 63.3% |
| 2003 | 59.5% |
| 2002 | 55.2% |
| 2001 | 61.7% |
| 2000 | 54.0% |
Wow, the Utes might have two lottery picks this year if Delon Wright and Jakob Poeltl keep up their early play. Going to see them against the Shockers on Wednesday. Would be cool to have the school get two high picks this year.
My Arkansas Razorbacks are actually ranked for the first time in 7 years. They haven't even made the NCAA tournament since then. Of course, despite the fact that the SEC West is far from the best division in college basketball, they always tend to follow up an excellent non-conference start with horrible conference play. I wouldn't be surprised if we lost the first 3 or 4 SEC games and fell out of the rankings even if we win every non-conference game. I'd say we don't have any future NBA players, but I don't think most Arkansas fans expected Patrick Beverley to have a more successful career than Ronnie Brewer.
Just read the OP. Thought it was a copy-pasta from the other board. Nope. Very well done.
LOL @ The Bucks. I mean, there are teams in the East that ppl want to win and are not, yet the Bucks are winning and nobody cares. It's hard out there.
LOL @ The Bucks. I mean, there are teams in the East that ppl want to win and are not, yet the Bucks are winning and nobody cares. It's hard out there.
It sounds like McGary could make his Thunder debut tonight as well.
I expect him to get minutes and maybe even replace Collison, who has definitely looked a step slow this season.
I expect him to get minutes and maybe even replace Collison, who has definitely looked a step slow this season.
By blackmambaWhy is Adam's gif so big on chrome for a pc????
Chrome changed something and now pages with any sizable GIFs come to a halting performance crawl while the GIF is being loaded. Annoys the shit out of me.
Blatt asked why did they get rid of AJ Price in the first place and he responded by saying "we didn't get rid of him, we just waived him" lol
Tabs crashing on every website and gifs slowing pages. I don't know what google is doing, but they are pushing me back to firefox.
By reiloChrome has been a mess for me latelyBy blackmambaWhy is Adam's gif so big on chrome for a pc????
Chrome changed something and now pages with any sizable GIFs come to a halting performance crawl while the GIF is being loaded. Annoys the shit out of me.
Tabs crashing on every website and gifs slowing pages. I don't know what google is doing, but they are pushing me back to firefox.
Maybe I'm weird, but I never left Firefox. I've never had any problems or reason to switch in 10 years.
By diprosalicseeding 1-16 no matter the conference is nice but the fact that the teams in the west actually have to fight for their playoff spot is pretty much the only interesting thing about this nba season.
Thats partially true.
But is it also because there's a large slate of east games that no one gives a shit about?
I'm not tuning in to watch philly vs hornets. Knicks vs Celtics. Indiana vs anyone.
By reiloBy blackmambaWhy is Adam's gif so big on chrome for a pc????
Chrome changed something and now pages with any sizable GIFs come to a halting performance crawl while the GIF is being loaded. Annoys the shit out of me.
When I say huge," I meant physically it takes up 2/3 the browser window.
Guess I wasn't used to it. But yeah, I've noticed that chrome issue, too.
Lots of games tonight. None that interesting except KD returning for the Thunder.
Oh, and the shitshow that will be Knicks vs Nets. zzzZzzzZzzz
Oh, and the shitshow that will be Knicks vs Nets. zzzZzzzZzzz
By reiloLots of games tonight. None that interesting except KD returning for the Thunder.
Oh, and the shitshow that will be Knicks vs Nets. zzzZzzzZzzz
But we MUST have them play each other 4 times!
or not.
By giririsssBy reiloLots of games tonight. None that interesting except KD returning for the Thunder.
Oh, and the shitshow that will be Knicks vs Nets. zzzZzzzZzzz
But we MUST have them play each other 4 times!
or not.
the whole division is a shit show and a bunch of Canadians.... There is nothing exciting about any of it.....
Nice OP.
Did ya'll see the all star uniforms? I think they actually look nice for once.
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/the-nba-has-released-startlingly-simple-uniform-designs-for-the-2015-all-star-game-210959613.html
Did ya'll see the all star uniforms? I think they actually look nice for once.
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/the-nba-has-released-startlingly-simple-uniform-designs-for-the-2015-all-star-game-210959613.html
By blackaceWhere are the Klay haters now???Sitting right there with the "Nic Batum is better than Hayward" crowd?
By vireNice OP.I usually like what they do for the all star uniforms.
Did ya'll see the all star uniforms? I think they actually look nice for once.
http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nba-ball-dont-lie/the-nba-has-released-startlingly-simple-uniform-designs-for-the-2015-all-star-game-210959613.html
They seem to have taken the simple approach too far with those.