Football Thread 2016 | May | http://bit.do/euroslaent

Hah, that's great. Congrats, Tondela-Slaent.

thanks

Also Maggie is awesome

Nice, finally Volume is 5bux on the Steam store. Time to get my stealth on

By LFMartins86 Go To PostBenfica had a Sulejmani, not sure what the fuck happened to him.

There was a terrific story in the Portuguese League today. Two months ago, Tondela were pretty much relegated. After 26 matches they only had 3 wins, a total of 13 points and were dead last in the table, 11 points from safety.
What followed was a sensational run. 14 points from a possible 21, including a shocking win away at Porto. On the start of the final day, Tondela were still on the relegation zone with 27 points, União da Madeira had 29.
Tondela faced the already relegated Academica. Things started off great with the CB Pica opening the score to Tondela on the 12th minute but it started to seem like that wouldn´t be enough as União da Madeira took the lead against Rio Ave on the 38th minute.
Soon after the start of the second half, Luiz Alberto made it 2-0 for Tondela. They had done their part, now it was out of their hands.
Rio Ave came to their rescue, drawing 1-1 after União had a player sent off and a few minutes after, Helder Postiga made it 2-1 for Rio Ave which gave Tondela their place in the Primeira Liga next season and sent União da Madeira back to the second division.
Truly an incredible escape masterminded by former Portuguese international Petit.

The fuck. I go to poop, and when I come back my computer is restarting and updating by itself. Fuck you microsoft, what if I was doing something more important than browsing efukt? Fuck you.

By Woodenpapangus Go To PostThe fuck. I go to poop, and when I come back my computer is restarting and updating by itself. Fuck you microsoft, what if I was doing something more important than browsing efukt? Fuck you.

Imagine you would have lost the porn website you were masturbating to.

Gosh Batman and Robin is so painful.

Their boots become ice skates. The blades pop out from what I can only assume would be their feet.

Now they are surfing in the air.

Batman Returns is the best Batman movie.

1989 is the second best.

By Francis Go To PostBatman Returns is the best Batman movie.

1989 is the second best.

Leave.

Ivy's reveal. So awful.

It makes no sense why she just comes up from the ground.

Those Batman movies were great. They were absolutely terrible and silly, which is fitting for a super hero movie.

Only thing that came close since was the original opening to TDKR


Bravo Nolan.

Whole thing has been worth it just to see Alicia Silverstone in a school uniform.

She managed to come all the way from England in her school unifrom lmao

By Francis Go To PostBatman Returns is the best Batman movie.

1989 is the second best.

Mask Of The Phantasm, that's the best one.

BATCARD

Never leave the cave without it.

By LFMartins86 Go To PostMask Of The Phantasm, that's the best one.

NAILED IT

The Burton films are terrible. It may as well be a different character entirely.

By LFMartins86 Go To PostMask Of The Phantasm, that's the best one.

No question.

I wiil miss eurosoccer Brasil league sux

By LFMartins86 Go To PostMask Of The Phantasm, that's the best one.

This scene used to crack me up

https://youtu.be/ONmWUHtvByQ

By Zabojnik Go To PostHe'll always be Sulemani (su le mani / hands up) to me.

Been listening to fabri fibra again?

By FootballFan Go To PostBeen listening to fabri fibra again?

Fuck Fabri Fibra.

Frankie HI-NRG MC 4ever.

Arsenal 6 - 0 Aston Villa
Everton 1 - 2 Norwich City
Manchester United 2 - 1 AFC Bournemouth
Newcastle United 3 - 1 Tottenham Hotspur
Southampton 3 - 1 Crystal Palace
Stoke City 2 - 2 West Ham United
Swansea City 1 - 3 Manchester City
Watford 2 - 2 Sunderland
West Bromwich Albion 1 - 2 Liverpool

U crazy for this 1 Scum

By Esch Go To PostU crazy for this 1 Scum

No prediction for Chelsea/Leicester? :(

If Ozil doesn't get the record we should sell Giroud.

By Wedward Go To Postwe should sell Giroud.

Wait for the Euros bump

We should sell Ozil, too. Never gonna win the league with his lazy arse strolling through games.

You guys should sell Wenger

By FlutterPuffs Go To PostYou guys should sell Wenger

I would pay for him to leave.

Amazing that Sassuolo could be in Europe next season.

I can't see Milan beating Juve in the Coppa, so Sassuolo will get the place.

It really is a great story, a modern Parma.

Few years back Allegri saw them to Serie B for the first time, then they got promoted to Serie A under EDF and now can be playing in Europe for the first time.

I can only see this team getting better under EDF.

By Yurt Go To PostI really hope he stays in Italy next season

like can you imagine Icardi or Salah being Italy's topscorers ffs, we won't hear the end of it.

Unless he signs a new contract very soon, I think we may be powerless to resist a buyout from a TV-money-engorged English behemoth. £75m for such a prolific striker at the apex of his career doesn't seem extraordinary anymore.

By Yurt Go To PostHiguain's record breaking 36th goal was an overhead kick

It was delicious. Goal of the season for me, not that I'm biased.

By Yurt Go To PostTurin's paper
.
.
.
Roma's paper

To be fair to the Romans, what's more surprising news, ol' Nordahl's record falling or Juventus sewing on yet another scudetto? Anything is bigger news than Juventus's triumph: the sun rising, the color of leaves, Shanks shitting on Ozil and Wenger, FF's senility.

By Shanks D Zoro Go To PostAmazing that Sassuolo could be in Europe next season.

I can't see Milan beating Juve in the Coppa, so Sassuolo will get the place.

It really is a great story, a modern Parma.

Few years back Allegri saw them to Serie B for the first time, then they got promoted to Serie A under EDF and now can be playing in Europe for the first time.

I can only see this team getting better under EDF.

If Ranieri could purloin the EPL trophy with Leicester, imagine what Eusebio would accomplish at Arsenal. I still maintain that he's the ideal manager for them.

Everybody is playing Uncharted except for Daniuolo and n8 the gr8. This is when you know who your true friends are

By Shanks D Zoro Go To PostAmazing that Sassuolo could be in Europe next season.

I can't see Milan beating Juve in the Coppa, so Sassuolo will get the place.

It really is a great story, a modern Parma.

Few years back Allegri saw them to Serie B for the first time, then they got promoted to Serie A under EDF and now can be playing in Europe for the first time.

I can only see this team getting better under EDF.

would be tragically amusing when Berardi decides to stay for their first European season ever à la Leicester City.

I mean, I'm pretty sure if I had him on PSN he'd be one of those sheep playing Uncharted too

By Yurt Go To PostEverybody is playing Uncharted except for Daniuolo and n8 the gr8. This is when you know who your true friends are

Yurt, my dear, you know I will never be caught playing Uncharted.

By flabber Go To PostUnless he signs a new contract very soon, I think we may be powerless to resist a buyout from a TV-money-engorged English behemoth. £75m for such a prolific striker at the apex of his career doesn't seem extraordinary anymore.

It was delicious. Goal of the season for me, not that I'm biased.

To be fair to the Romans, what's more surprising news, ol' Nordahl's record falling or Juventus sewing on yet another scudetto? Anything is bigger news than Juventus's triumph: the sun rising, the color of leaves, Shanks shitting on Ozil and Wenger, FF's senility.


If Ranieri could purloin the EPL trophy with Leicester, imagine what Eusebio would accomplish at Arsenal. I still maintain that he's the ideal manager for them.

Morning


I like Eusebio but I reckon his football is too suicidal for any league other than La Liga :lol


Higuain's goal for those who missed it https://streamable.com/d3si

Insigne in-from just in time for Fraaaaaaaaaance! And Mertens proving that he's the superior Depay

@Yurt, are you not one of the sheeps playing Uncharted?

@Flabber, congrats on second. I am hoping your boys can make a real go of it in Europe. The foundations are there for success if the squad can be strengthened.

Also, I fully agree with the EDF for Arsenal, but I know most of the other Arsenal lads will just say "Shanks going for Italians"

He has done a great job. It always says a lot when new players can come in and fit seamlessly into the formation. None of them are giants of the game, but he always gets the best out of them. Plus, win or lose, they never look bad, and they never stop caring.

Back to Yurt again, I fully expect Berardi to stay at Sass if they do make it to Europe. I have a feeling he will be the Sassuolo Di Natale

edit: and yes, goal of the season for me. Not the best, but what a way to take the record.

By Yurt Go To PostMorning


I like Eusebio but I reckon his football is too suicidal for any league other than La Liga :lol


Higuain's goal for those who missed it https://streamable.com/d3si

Insigne in-from just in time for Fraaaaaaaaaance

SES also has refound his goal scoring form the last few games.

Gonna be fun if Conte can get them both into the 11.

The Shanks' team of the season

Buffon
Barz-Bon-Acerbi
Florenzi-Pogba-Jorginho-Pjanic-Insigne
Higuain-Dybala

Manager of the season: Allegri
Player of the season: Buffon
Foreign player of the season: Higuain.
Sub of the season; Totti
Summer buy of the season; Dybala
Winter buy of the season: SES
Most improved: Acerbi
Young player of the season: Donnarumma

I always thought Patrick Vieira’s (and other players' that copied his trend back then) goo applied on his shirt was some sticky resin to help the ball die off the chest.

Turns out some people think it was Vicks Vaporub, which makes sense I suppose. 🤔

Yeah, it was Vicks.

By Shanks D Zoro Go To Post@Flabber, congrats on second. I am hoping your boys can make a real go of it in Europe. The foundations are there for success if the squad can be strengthened.

Shanks, that season XI looks pretty accurate.

As for Napoli:

With some more defensive fortitude (the early Tonelli signing announcement has me hoping we'll have a productive summer mercato) and some more shooting sensibility (unless you're Insigne - and even he should be more judicious - you're never allowed to launch wasteful rockets from range (I'm so tired of looking like the Napoletano faction of mid-00s Hamas, rather than learning how to utilize patience and composure in our attacking build-up)), I know we could be much more successful. Too many matches were determined this season by yet another defensive crumble, especially late in the match (e.g., Juve and Roma), or a failure to be more decisive around the goal (with the obvious exception of Higuain). We could also use more depth in the squad, because it seems apparent that with the high intensity of our style under Sarri, we were exhausted by the time we stumbled into spring.

Allegri, at the midway point of the season, claimed the scudetto would go to the club that clawed its way to 82 points by the end. Unfortunately, that wasn't enough. It was always Juve's to lose, and they simply didn't do so. I'm satisfied with second ... for now.

People still do the vicks. Helps open up your nasal passage.

By Yurt Go To PostEverybody is playing Uncharted except for Daniuolo and n8 the gr8. This is when you know who your true friends are


would be tragically amusing when Berardi decides to stay for their first European season ever à la Leicester City.

I mean, I'm pretty sure if I had him on PSN he'd be one of those sheep playing Uncharted too

I bought it yesterday. It's just fun and mindless.

Although the new Rainbow Six update keeps dragging me back in.

Be a completely different XI today to that which starts in Basel. Be made up for Danny Ings if he gets on the pitch.

I remember us arguing about Napoli choking, they proved me wrong, Juve just proved too consistent. A consistency that very few teams in any league can match. Napoli will be much stronger with the experience.

By Shanks D Zoro Go To PostI remember us arguing about Napoli choking, they proved me wrong, Juve just proved too consistent. A consistency that very few teams in any league can match. Napoli will be much stronger with the experience.

It generates at the back, in classically Italian fashion. As usual, the Juventus defence proved stouter than anyone else's. They don't make the mistakes, and they provide the foundation on which your midfield and forwards flourish. Juventus easily could've flopped into the mid-table alla Milanese after the disastrous start to the season, but the tenacity and skill of guys like Buffon and Bonucci ensured that wouldn't happen.

Napoli has some of that, particularly in the passion of Reina (his injury for the Udinese match was one of the more pivotal points of our entire season, because I suspect the outcome would've been very different with him back there); but Albiol simply isn't to the level we need, and Koulibaly needs to develop just a bit more acumen (the talent is clearly there, but the brain isn't always) - if we even succeed in keeping the latter through the summer.

By flabber Go To PostIt generates at the back, in classically Italian fashion. As usual, the Juventus defence proved stouter than anyone else's. They don't make the mistakes, and they provide the foundation on which your midfield and forwards flourish. Juventus easily could've flopped into the mid-table alla Milanese after the disastrous start to the season, but the tenacity and skill of guys like Buffon and Bonucci ensured that wouldn't happen.

It is why I can't see anyone, except Juve, winning again next year. Juve boast for of the best CBs in the league. If one goes down, then you have another to step up. if two go down, then change to a back four and you have two solid fullbacks to step in.

Napoli and Roma really should be looking to sign Acerbi(Oh how I bet Milan wish they had kept him)

I played Career Mode on FIFA with Arsenal just to see our players lift the league title.

True story.

The Portuguese press are shit. They have been doing 0 coverage about the fact that multiple players and club members from a couple of clubs on the second division were arrested yesterday right after their games for match fixing.
It's like they don't people to know how fucking corrupt football is in Portugal.

By Arnie Go To PostBe a completely different XI today to that which starts in Basel. Be made up for Danny Ings if he gets on the pitch.

I'll be buzzing if we see a bit of Canos.

Anthony Kiedis has been hospitalized. Hope he gets better soon.