By Esch Go To Post
:lol
I go to Tesco everyday since budgens became too familiar with me, generally stores have a half life where you can go about your business unnoticed, if you vary the times you go you can seldom every be served by the same people, taking into account shift times, sometimes you can plan a day around it, but budgens became too familiar and especially the older serves talking to me, chief among them being the statement "You come here alot" "You must like fruit", it became such a problem that I had to go to the big tesco and here i am. Anyway I have been going to the big tesco for a while now, its a hair out of my way and its not good jogging but the walk is passable, ponds and ducks, as you will, its kinda big and I thought I could get away without idle conversation for at least 6 months, pushing it 8, but im quickly running out of shopping centers, there is a waitrose but I dont like going there because there is a server who touches you sometimes, he is also sometimes the only server, it is abhorrent.
Anyway, I go to tesco last week and i am listening to my music, as per usual, I am browsing whether to go self checkout or basket checkout, self checkout generally has more human interaction surprisingly because the thing doesnt scan properly and often times you will get the "Did you bring your own bag" or "unidentified object", its a quick card swipe but it involves me taking my headphones off, asking for help, receiving help, scanning the card, sometimes 2-3 times in an 11 item shop. Because i saw a bunch of men on the basket aisle i decided to go there, single men generally pay cash or if they pay in card they have their card out, its efficient, no coupons. I recognise most of the staff on rotation because its midday on a weekday, but as ive only been going a little while theres no danger of being recognised and small talk.
Or so I thought
I get to the counter and I am lost in my own little world, im listening to a remix of the begees and nelly called "Stayin' Hot" to wit I have been daydreaming about a tv show id like to write where this is the opening number, sort of a Goodfellas kitchen walk through a 70's nightclub, so im kinda lost in my head and the music and she says hi, or mouths it, the headphones are entrenched, I say hi, formalities over.
Or so i thought
She mouths a question that is not "Do you have a clubcard" or "Do you have any cashback" I know these are not the questions because i havent even entered my card yet and its clear im going to need to get the bread taken back because there is a tear. I remove my headphones and she asks me what im listening to and I am super taken aback because i didnt know how to describe a remix, because its a conversation ive never had before. Furthermore she is young so what does she know about the beegees? or Nelly, its ludicrous. So i stand there silent for a moment and say "Oh its nelly" and she says "Oh i like him which one?" and i reply "One he did with the beegees", to which she replies "Oh who are they?" and i get this sickening feeling that i am now required to both continue the conversation, provide expostion AND atone for an error because they never collaborated.
During this time she has stopped passing my items through and my hands are getting sweaty, nothing is happening, and worse there is no-one else in line so there is no urgency for anything to happen, and my bread needs to be taken back, but perhaps therein lies an escape, I tell her about the bread, she says "Oh ill buzz it in" and i say "i can get the bread" she says "no someone will get it, we have people for that" to which i say "Pleaes let me get the bread" and she relents and i go get the bread, when i come back my items have passed and i pay.
Maybe one of the top 6 most horrible things that has ever happened to me.
Anyway, I go to tesco last week and i am listening to my music, as per usual, I am browsing whether to go self checkout or basket checkout, self checkout generally has more human interaction surprisingly because the thing doesnt scan properly and often times you will get the "Did you bring your own bag" or "unidentified object", its a quick card swipe but it involves me taking my headphones off, asking for help, receiving help, scanning the card, sometimes 2-3 times in an 11 item shop. Because i saw a bunch of men on the basket aisle i decided to go there, single men generally pay cash or if they pay in card they have their card out, its efficient, no coupons. I recognise most of the staff on rotation because its midday on a weekday, but as ive only been going a little while theres no danger of being recognised and small talk.
Or so I thought
I get to the counter and I am lost in my own little world, im listening to a remix of the begees and nelly called "Stayin' Hot" to wit I have been daydreaming about a tv show id like to write where this is the opening number, sort of a Goodfellas kitchen walk through a 70's nightclub, so im kinda lost in my head and the music and she says hi, or mouths it, the headphones are entrenched, I say hi, formalities over.
Or so i thought
She mouths a question that is not "Do you have a clubcard" or "Do you have any cashback" I know these are not the questions because i havent even entered my card yet and its clear im going to need to get the bread taken back because there is a tear. I remove my headphones and she asks me what im listening to and I am super taken aback because i didnt know how to describe a remix, because its a conversation ive never had before. Furthermore she is young so what does she know about the beegees? or Nelly, its ludicrous. So i stand there silent for a moment and say "Oh its nelly" and she says "Oh i like him which one?" and i reply "One he did with the beegees", to which she replies "Oh who are they?" and i get this sickening feeling that i am now required to both continue the conversation, provide expostion AND atone for an error because they never collaborated.
During this time she has stopped passing my items through and my hands are getting sweaty, nothing is happening, and worse there is no-one else in line so there is no urgency for anything to happen, and my bread needs to be taken back, but perhaps therein lies an escape, I tell her about the bread, she says "Oh ill buzz it in" and i say "i can get the bread" she says "no someone will get it, we have people for that" to which i say "Pleaes let me get the bread" and she relents and i go get the bread, when i come back my items have passed and i pay.
Maybe one of the top 6 most horrible things that has ever happened to me.
By Mr Cola Go To PostI go to Tesco everyday since budgens became too familiar with me, generally stores have a half life where you can go about your business unnoticed, if you vary the times you go you can seldom every be served by the same people, taking into account shift times, sometimes you can plan a day around it, but budgens became too familiar and especially the older serves talking to me, chief among them being the statement "You come here alot" "You must like fruit", it became such a problem that I had to go to the big tesco and here i am. Anyway I have been going to the big tesco for a while now, its a hair out of my way and its not good jogging but the walk is passable, ponds and ducks, as you will, its kinda big and I thought I could get away without idle conversation for at least 6 months, pushing it 8, but im quickly running out of shopping centers, there is a waitrose but I dont like going there because there is a server who touches you sometimes, he is also sometimes the only server, it is abhorrent.incredible
Anyway, I go to tesco last week and i am listening to my music, as per usual, I am browsing whether to go self checkout or basket checkout, self checkout generally has more human interaction surprisingly because the thing doesnt scan properly and often times you will get the "Did you bring your own bag" or "unidentified object", its a quick card swipe but it involves me taking my headphones off, asking for help, receiving help, scanning the card, sometimes 2-3 times in an 11 item shop. Because i saw a bunch of men on the basket aisle i decided to go there, single men generally pay cash or if they pay in card they have their card out, its efficient, no coupons. I recognise most of the staff on rotation because its midday on a weekday, but as ive only been going a little while theres no danger of being recognised and small talk.
Or so I thought
I get to the counter and I am lost in my own little world, im listening to a remix of the begees and nelly called "Stayin' Hot" to wit I have been daydreaming about a tv show id like to write where this is the opening number, sort of a Goodfellas kitchen walk through a 70's nightclub, so im kinda lost in my head and the music and she says hi, or mouths it, the headphones are entrenched, I say hi, formalities over.
Or so i thought
She mouths a question that is not "Do you have a clubcard" or "Do you have any cashback" I know these are not the questions because i havent even entered my card yet and its clear im going to need to get the bread taken back because there is a tear. I remove my headphones and she asks me what im listening to and I am super taken aback because i didnt know how to describe a remix, because its a conversation ive never had before. Furthermore she is young so what does she know about the beegees? or Nelly, its ludicrous. So i stand there silent for a moment and say "Oh its nelly" and she says "Oh i like him which one?" and i reply "One he did with the beegees", to which she replies "Oh who are they?" and i get this sickening feeling that i am now required to both continue the conversation, provide expostion AND atone for an error because they never collaborated.
During this time she has stopped passing my items through and my hands are getting sweaty, nothing is happening, and worse there is no-one else in line so there is no urgency for anything to happen, and my bread needs to be taken back, but perhaps therein lies an escape, I tell her about the bread, she says "Oh ill buzz it in" and i say "i can get the bread" she says "no someone will get it, we have people for that" to which i say "Pleaes let me get the bread" and she relents and i go get the bread, when i come back my items have passed and i pay.
Maybe one of the top 6 most horrible things that has ever happened to me.
the self checkout is the worst
i got a similar story
i was looking for condoms, but while they were usually out in the open, now they kept em behind some locked glass at walmart. whatever, i dont care. i go and ask one of the employees if they can open it up for me to get some. Employee is like "oh sure, just one sec i dont have the key and need to get the person who does". So the employee leaves and im left standing there in the condom isle in front of the glass. And im just standing there. and standing there. and standing there. and at least 10 minutes must have passed at this point, and im kinda frustrated.
So i go to find another employee. However, the only employee i can find is talking to another person. At this point im thinking about cutting my losses and leaving, but whatever ive been here however fucking long, i might as well get what i came for. I go "hey man, can you open up the condom shelf?" and apparently he misheard me, and goes "the what shelf?" and i respond very clearly "the CONDOM shelf". But i dont notice theres a family walking behind me and the parents give me a weird look. Now it is clear this employee really didn't wanna be bothered, so he shares this awkward sigh with the person hes talking with and is like "alright, but i dont have the key, i gotta find the person who does. " And the person he was with gives me this weird stare that seems like a mix between disgust and annoyance. almost like the ronaldo premaface scum always uses
So now theres two motherfucking employees out in the wild trying to find this goddamn key to this goddamn shelf and i still standing in this isle waiting for the fucking thing.
and then i hear the store intercom thing go on and the employee is like "can we have the person with the key please help a customer at the..." and at this point i think im convinced ive made a huge mistake. like there are people walking past me and looking at me as it is because im just standing in this isle. but anyway, he ends up just going "...at the pharmacy isle".
so now im thinking ok, this is almost over. except im still fucking waiting. and then out of the corner of my eye i see a different employee walking past the area. so i yell out "hey excuse me" and halleluja its the fucking one with the key. But she doesnt know what i want and again im like "yeah could you open the condom shelf?" and she just replies "Oh" and kinda rolls her eyes and goes over to open the fucking thing
so i get my shit and decide im about done with human contact at this point, so i get some chips and want to quietly get out of the self checkout. So im putting my shit in the bag and something about the weight of the items doesnt check. The machine then tells me that it needs an employee to set it straight. Because of course it does, why wouldnt it. So another goddamn employee comes over but this times its this almost cute chubby chick. And i swear to god she take a look at the condoms, starts smiling and then makes direct eye contact with me for slightly too long. And i gotta fucking smile back because i dont wanna make it any more awkward, but she keeps smiling as shes pressing the fucking buttons and then she sets it straight, and then as she walks away shes like "have fun". and out of reflex i make the idiot mistake of replying "you too" as if she was the one buying condoms.
so fuck the self checkout is what im saying
By Yaya Scabrogo Go To Postbut she keeps smiling as shes pressing the fucking buttons and then she sets it straight, and then as she walks away shes like "have fun". and out of reflex i make the idiot mistake of replying "you too" as if she was the one buying condoms.I do something like this at the movie theatre. The ticketing person will be like "Enjoy your movie" and I'd just instinctively reply "yeah you too". Every damn time
By Perfect Blue Go To PostI do something like this at the movie theatre. The ticketing person will be like "Enjoy your movie" and I'd just instinctively reply "yeah you too". Every damn timei think ive only done that one time, and to the pizza guy for some reason
i bet he did have some pizza tho
By Francis Go To Posthttps://twitter.com/King_Goran/status/730144001458851844
Dying.
Yaya's story sounds like something out of Nickelodeon's Doug, the "Awkward college boy years" edition
Cola is Jane Eyre
This kind of dilatory, blooming mental life is usually the product of lifespan-shortening artistic effort. But you were just fuckin born.
This kind of dilatory, blooming mental life is usually the product of lifespan-shortening artistic effort. But you were just fuckin born.
Yo this is incredible. WTF lol.
I'm probably the opposite. I seek out the cashiers that don't want to interact and make them small talk. I do it at bars when I go outside to get fresh air with a beer. Funniest part is because I'm so friendly and can shoot the shit with anyone people don't think I'm from Miami, because..... We're all dicks here.
EDIT: Colas 3rd post is the best. "I thought I had 2 more months"
I'm probably the opposite. I seek out the cashiers that don't want to interact and make them small talk. I do it at bars when I go outside to get fresh air with a beer. Funniest part is because I'm so friendly and can shoot the shit with anyone people don't think I'm from Miami, because..... We're all dicks here.
EDIT: Colas 3rd post is the best. "I thought I had 2 more months"
Cola, you're awesome.
Lol Yaya, what a quest for condoms. Hope it was worth it.
Here we have portable scanners that you beep things in with, I find them working a lot better than those stationary ones.
Lol Yaya, what a quest for condoms. Hope it was worth it.
Here we have portable scanners that you beep things in with, I find them working a lot better than those stationary ones.
I'm also the conversation starter if the opportunity presents itself. It seems weird not to be. Probably why I'm shit at poker.
But I'm also a dick too.
Just last night I picked up Uncharted at Best Buy. As I'm making my way towards the exit, I'm looking at my phone, and the door guy asks if he can see my receipt. So I look up, and without breaking stride with one earbud in, say no, and walk right out the exit.
I didn't have to do that. He's just doing his job. It's a stupid job and perhaps that's why I didn't hesitate to deny his request without thinking about it. But that was a dick move when I reflected back on it while I was sitting on the train headed home.
In the moment though it all happened so fast that I just remember thinking that I don't want to stop moving. I didn't even really enter the store proper. I walked in; walked up to the front desk; paid for the game and walked out. Does that really require him asking to look at my receipt like was rolling three huge boxes out on a dolly that say 4k on the side?
The sad part is, is if I had to do it all over again, I would probably do the same thing despite how it made me feel about the situation the first time. :/
But I'm also a dick too.
Just last night I picked up Uncharted at Best Buy. As I'm making my way towards the exit, I'm looking at my phone, and the door guy asks if he can see my receipt. So I look up, and without breaking stride with one earbud in, say no, and walk right out the exit.
I didn't have to do that. He's just doing his job. It's a stupid job and perhaps that's why I didn't hesitate to deny his request without thinking about it. But that was a dick move when I reflected back on it while I was sitting on the train headed home.
In the moment though it all happened so fast that I just remember thinking that I don't want to stop moving. I didn't even really enter the store proper. I walked in; walked up to the front desk; paid for the game and walked out. Does that really require him asking to look at my receipt like was rolling three huge boxes out on a dolly that say 4k on the side?
The sad part is, is if I had to do it all over again, I would probably do the same thing despite how it made me feel about the situation the first time. :/
There is a regular checkout person at the Sainsbury's that I go to that has no pretense whatsoever about trying to be cheerful. She looks like she is having a miserable every time I go. It's refreshing.
Both victim blaming and Wenger levels of missing an incident. Impressive
By BBC Radio 5 LiveSpeaking immediately in the wake of the incident, West Ham co-chairman David Sullivan played it down, telling BBC Radio 5 live that their opponents should have arrived earlier.
"I don't understand why United couldn't get here at 4pm," he said. "They could have got here early. They knew it would be busy. It's crazy.
"There was congestion in the street and they couldn't get the coach in. There were people around the coach, but there was no attack on the coach."
Both victim blaming and Wenger levels of missing an incident. Impressive
By Yaya Scabrogo Go To Postincredible
the self checkout is the worst
i got a similar story
i was looking for condoms, but while they were usually out in the open, now they kept em behind some locked glass at walmart. whatever, i dont care. i go and ask one of the employees if they can open it up for me to get some. Employee is like "oh sure, just one sec i dont have the key and need to get the person who does". So the employee leaves and im left standing there in the condom isle in front of the glass. And im just standing there. and standing there. and standing there. and at least 10 minutes must have passed at this point, and im kinda frustrated.
So i go to find another employee. However, the only employee i can find is talking to another person. At this point im thinking about cutting my losses and leaving, but whatever ive been here however fucking long, i might as well get what i came for. I go "hey man, can you open up the condom shelf?" and apparently he misheard me, and goes "the what shelf?" and i respond very clearly "the CONDOM shelf". But i dont notice theres a family walking behind me and the parents give me a weird look. Now it is clear this employee really didn't wanna be bothered, so he shares this awkward sigh with the person hes talking with and is like "alright, but i dont have the key, i gotta find the person who does. " And the person he was with gives me this weird stare that seems like a mix between disgust and annoyance. almost like the ronaldo premaface scum always uses
So now theres two motherfucking employees out in the wild trying to find this goddamn key to this goddamn shelf and i still standing in this isle waiting for the fucking thing.
and then i hear the store intercom thing go on and the employee is like "can we have the person with the key please help a customer at the…" and at this point i think im convinced ive made a huge mistake. like there are people walking past me and looking at me as it is because im just standing in this isle. but anyway, he ends up just going "…at the pharmacy isle".
so now im thinking ok, this is almost over. except im still fucking waiting. and then out of the corner of my eye i see a different employee walking past the area. so i yell out "hey excuse me" and halleluja its the fucking one with the key. But she doesnt know what i want and again im like "yeah could you open the condom shelf?" and she just replies "Oh" and kinda rolls her eyes and goes over to open the fucking thing
so i get my shit and decide im about done with human contact at this point, so i get some chips and want to quietly get out of the self checkout. So im putting my shit in the bag and something about the weight of the items doesnt check. The machine then tells me that it needs an employee to set it straight. Because of course it does, why wouldnt it. So another goddamn employee comes over but this times its this almost cute chubby chick. And i swear to god she take a look at the condoms, starts smiling and then makes direct eye contact with me for slightly too long. And i gotta fucking smile back because i dont wanna make it any more awkward, but she keeps smiling as shes pressing the fucking buttons and then she sets it straight, and then as she walks away shes like "have fun". and out of reflex i make the idiot mistake of replying "you too" as if she was the one buying condoms.
so fuck the self checkout is what im saying
hahah the classic "you too"
Cola 😂
Yaya you should've made light of the whole situation 😂 that was a potentially funny story that you turned awkward 💀
Yaya you should've made light of the whole situation 😂 that was a potentially funny story that you turned awkward 💀
I was in the tube with my mate when he arrived, it took me a second to register who it was, but my friend said 'hey' to which the quite familiar face opposite me said, 'hello'. 'What are you doing here?'. 'Just decided to take the tube home and get some vegetables on the way'. 'But what about the bus?'. 'Naw i do this from time to time'. 'Ok' we both said with a surreal and quaint look.
Then I woke up.
It was Darmian lads, fucking Darmian.
I need a vacation.
Then I woke up.
It was Darmian lads, fucking Darmian.
I need a vacation.
By GQman2121 Go To PostI'm also the conversation starter if the opportunity presents itself. It seems weird not to be. Probably why I'm shit at poker.Good on you, you aint no thief.
But I'm also a dick too.
Just last night I picked up Uncharted at Best Buy. As I'm making my way towards the exit, I'm looking at my phone, and the door guy asks if he can see my receipt. So I look up, and without breaking stride with one earbud in, say no, and walk right out the exit.
I didn't have to do that. He's just doing his job. It's a stupid job and perhaps that's why I didn't hesitate to deny his request without thinking about it. But that was a dick move when I reflected back on it while I was sitting on the train headed home.
In the moment though it all happened so fast that I just remember thinking that I don't want to stop moving. I didn't even really enter the store proper. I walked in; walked up to the front desk; paid for the game and walked out. Does that really require him asking to look at my receipt like was rolling three huge boxes out on a dolly that say 4k on the side?
The sad part is, is if I had to do it all over again, I would probably do the same thing despite how it made me feel about the situation the first time. :/
normally I would say something like OH SHIT you caught me
made his day
wasn't that better 😘
Anyone got a gif of Andy Carroll getting played onside by Blind? I think that is the worst defending I have seen in a long time.
Edit: Don't worry I have found it
https://streamable.com/0h6v
Edit: Don't worry I have found it
https://streamable.com/0h6v
By Diego! Go To PostAnyone got a gif of Andy Carroll getting played onside by Blind? I think that is the worst defending I have seen in a long time.
Edit: Don't worry I have found it
https://streamable.com/0h6v
Jesus 💀
What was he doing
So Renato Sanchez cost Bayern 35M€ + 25M€ in certain / easy to achieve bonuses (Bayern in CL, etc.) + 20M€ in uncertain bonuses (Bayern win CL).
So anywhere between 60 and 80M€. Is this true?
So anywhere between 60 and 80M€. Is this true?
By Zabojnik Go To PostSo Renato Sanchez cost Bayern 35M€ + 25M€ in certain / easy to achieve bonuses (Bayern in CL, etc.) + 20M€ in uncertain bonuses (Bayern win CL).
So anywhere between 60 and 80M€. Is this true?
Most signs point to yes.
By Laboured Go To PostMost signs point to yes.Has Woodward been vacationing in Deutschland lately?
By Diego! Go To PostAnyone got a gif of Andy Carroll getting played onside by Blind? I think that is the worst defending I have seen in a long time.Holy shit, so bad. Just been staring at the loop, it keeps getting worse. It's not like it's just Blind either, horror from Smalling and Schneiderlin too.
Edit: Don't worry I have found it
https://streamable.com/0h6v
By Zabojnik Go To PostHas Woodward been vacationing in Deutschland lately?
Bayern actually managed to buy the player so that would suggest not.
By Francis Go To PostMartin Tyler's change of tone during the United goals last night…When he said "Reid all about it..." at the end, I shook my head.
Can't believe we're paying £40 million for Xhaka
Premier League clubs are gonna have to pay over the odds it seems
Premier League clubs are gonna have to pay over the odds it seems
By Marston Go To PostCan't believe we're paying £40 million for XhakaWho cares?
Premier League clubs are gonna have to pay over the odds it seems
He's a good player in a position that needs to be addressed. Still young too.
By Zabojnik Go To PostSo Renato Sanchez cost Bayern 35M€ + 25M€ in certain / easy to achieve bonuses (Bayern in CL, etc.) + 20M€ in uncertain bonuses (Bayern win CL).35M€ upfront + 5M€ every 25 games played (until he reaches 125) + 10M€ if he ever gets on the FIFA Team Of The Year + 10M€ if he ever gets on the final 3 of the Ballon d´Or.
So anywhere between 60 and 80M€. Is this true?
That Cola story is amazing. Just a correction, Cola, that´s not a remix, it´s a mashup (when you mix two or more songs together it´s called a mashup) and it was done by the great DJ Lobsterdust.