Figured there may as well be a spot for under-qualified psycho-analysis and writing-community swagger jacking. Ever been freaked the fuck out low key and had no way to vent about it? Shit the bed in your studio apartment and wanted to let the world know? Insecurities and guilt manifesting in the most demonic ways? be among brehs and brehettes

woke up like

I'll start off. ;_; I'm currently afraid of shit that I've never been afraid of in my entire life right now.

This whole month my lips have been kinda chapped, so of course I find myself licking my lips as I sleep. Nothing new in this dream. About to head out to a date and I'm checking for my chapstick like nothing is unusual. Everything is cool. Nice dinner. We shoot the shit. I order some wine and notice that my lips are feeling kinda scratchy again. No big deal as she doesn't notice. Laughs to be had, etc. Its chill.

I start to notice my lips feeling crackly and moist so I do the sneak move of wiping my mouth with the napkin as I look away. Sure enough, spotted with blood. Date doesn't seem to notice but I excuse myself anyways. Head to the bathroom and take a look in the mirror to see that it's a bit worse than I thought. Lips outright peeling... just ugh. To myself, its unsightly but no one on the way to the restroom even glanced at me. Okay. Cool. I realize right then and there that its going to be one of those dreams and keep it moving.

Cleaned up. Tried to deal with some of the extra dry skin, wiped up again, went back to the table. Got the most disgusting kiss goodbye I'll ever have the experience of imagining. Almost threw up on myself, tasting what I thought was my own blood. Whatever, I see you, bitchass nightmare. My self-conscious habits ain't that real. I could've been buttnaked in that restaurant leading a sing-a-long as I go ham on the hibachi grill improv. I legit felt confident going back to my place after that dinner. But the scratchiness and peeling was starting to really bother me. Started to sneeze and stuff too. Just felt like my entire face was itching and crusty. Like I could just pick at it and take small pieces off. Took legit effort to keep my hands off of my face after a while. Started picking my nose to stop the itch there too but it seemed to just come and go.

Make the rounds at my apartment when I get in. Say what's up to my roommates real quick then head to the restroom again to check myself out. Fucking blood all around my mouth and some trickling down from my nose. Something still scratching at the back of my nose and its just driving me crazy at this point. Close and lock the bathroom door behind me. Take some tweezers up my nose, latch on to what is definitely NOT a fucking dried out booger like I expected, end up having to tug and put some real effort into it... and pull out something like this


I took a long hard look at it. Rinse off all the blood and see a white insect arm. I didn't even give myself time to think about feeling nauseated or processing what was going on. I just ran my chin against the mirror, tilted my head back, and lined up another look at what was down my nostril with my tweezers ready to get the rest. Saw this


Mantis Shrimp looking parasite in the back of my nose. With a missing arm of course. I threw the tool away and just went in with two fingers. I pulled one good time and felt the tug deep in my chest

and just gave up lol. I didn't even wake up so much as I forfeited sleep. I didn't move or scream. I was just licking my fucking lips and rubbing my nose to confirm that shit didn't actually happen. Been fucked up for two days now. Not enough chapstick in the world.

i didn't know i had a fear of parasites until then. now i'm hyperaware

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