By FortuneFaded Go To PostTeaching first class of the semester in about 3 hours. Differential equations.Prayer hands up.
My school opens up on Thursday and they seem to believe they can have 2000 kids all in the building at one time. I think we'll be shut down within a month.
By FortuneFaded Go To PostTeaching first class of the semester in about 3 hours. Differential equations.i sucked at diffi q so much
just terrible at it. only class in my life i ever had to re-take
Thunderstorm + having a dog that freaks out during a storm is the worst. I’ve been up all night and it’s currently almost 4:30am.
so much shit happened today that I just laughed uncontrollably. only managed to actually be angry for about 5 minutes. fucked my whole process up
dude that sucks
it sounds like bullshit but my shit always comes in threes, if two things are off I just cower waiting for the next batch of fucked
it sounds like bullshit but my shit always comes in threes, if two things are off I just cower waiting for the next batch of fucked
Got an interview next week. Union, maxes out over 50/hr after a few years. Nervous and excited at the same time.
By Blue Go To PostGot an interview next week. Union, maxes out over 50/hr after a few years. Nervous and excited at the same time.Awesome!
Some life circumstances routinely have shown me while other people will just kind of ignore crazy I will be posted up in a window looking out or back to the wall keeping an eye out (even if it's just side eye) and waiting for the threat to fucking leave even if it's not directed at my home or my person. Just no relaxing for me till it's the fuck gone.
By Blue Go To PostGot an interview next week. Union, maxes out over 50/hr after a few years. Nervous and excited at the same time.You got this brother. It’s your turn
Me: ‘I should FaceTime my Mom it’s been a while’
Mom: ‘Your haircut looks awful, it’s so bad. Sorry, this is how I am I just say how things are”
Me: “Okay”
This is why I have self esteem issues.
Mom: ‘Your haircut looks awful, it’s so bad. Sorry, this is how I am I just say how things are”
Me: “Okay”
This is why I have self esteem issues.
By LuminaryGhost Go To PostMe: ‘I should FaceTime my Mom it’s been a while’
Mom: ‘Your haircut looks awful, it’s so bad. Sorry, this is how I am I just say how things are”
Me: “Okay”
This is why I have self esteem issues.
Parents can be your worst enemy.
By LuminaryGhost Go To PostMe: ‘I should FaceTime my Mom it’s been a while’My mom was a bit more extreme but similar. I've told this story before but I threatened to stop talking to her for two weeks every time she crossed the line. I stuck to it. It took a couple months but she learned to treat me how I wanted to be treated. Our relationship is now much more supportive and kind towards each other.
Mom: ‘Your haircut looks awful, it’s so bad. Sorry, this is how I am I just say how things are”
Me: “Okay”
This is why I have self esteem issues.
I’ve tried to distance myself and speak up, but I’ve only started to be more firm and put my foot down recently. It’s hard when you’ve grown up being shut down a lot. I started talking to a therapist semi-regularly and it’s helped, but I’ve never talked to anyone about it before. I’m only now realizing what I was dealing with at home and how it stems from childhood. That’s not to say my Mom was horrible, I had a mostly good life growing up, but there’s definitely a lot of things I can relate back to now.
There’s been so much drama the last two years, especially since moving out with my girlfriend (now fiancé). The biggest issues were us moving out and into my fiancé’s parent’s first house. I moved across closer to where her family lives. My family already felt like there was more priority towards hers than mine because she has a large extended family, so I go to more family parties overall. My family is just my Mom/Dad, brother lives in the UK.
Last year when we moved, our parents met for the first time, my Mom thought her Mom had said something about her which she didn’t actually say and has held a grudge about it since then and was demanding they apologize for it. I don’t even remember what was said, and it’s never been discussed with her. My Mom used to not even look at my fiancé (before we were engaged) when she’d come over, make rude comments and say things like how other girls look at me and I don’t even notice (in front of my fiancé). Even when my fiancé would try to make conversations, it was shut down and she had a wall up, and my Mom asks why she has a wall up lol.
To top this all off, on my 30th birthday last year my parents wanted me to go over the day before and spend most of the day there. They didn’t really have much of a plan, and my fiancé made her own plan for me at home since she thought my family had their own idea so she didn’t want to intrude. When we came back to our place, her family surprised me there and set up the house and we had a zoom call with her extended family. I showed my brother in text what they did and he said it’s too much and he’s disappointed and saddened, he hasn’t talked to me since December last year. My dad says I should reach out, I reached out 4 times and have not got a response. He never congratulated me for being engaged, doesn’t know my fiancé’s birthday nor has cared to get to know her for that last 7 years we’ve been together, he never said thanks when I sent him a birthday gift this past August, didn’t reply to my birthday wishes text.
This is why I have so much anxiety and self esteem issues. Everyone I’ve talked to in my life has re-assured me it’s not my fault and they’re being whack, but I still end up thinking this is all entirely on me.
There’s been so much drama the last two years, especially since moving out with my girlfriend (now fiancé). The biggest issues were us moving out and into my fiancé’s parent’s first house. I moved across closer to where her family lives. My family already felt like there was more priority towards hers than mine because she has a large extended family, so I go to more family parties overall. My family is just my Mom/Dad, brother lives in the UK.
Last year when we moved, our parents met for the first time, my Mom thought her Mom had said something about her which she didn’t actually say and has held a grudge about it since then and was demanding they apologize for it. I don’t even remember what was said, and it’s never been discussed with her. My Mom used to not even look at my fiancé (before we were engaged) when she’d come over, make rude comments and say things like how other girls look at me and I don’t even notice (in front of my fiancé). Even when my fiancé would try to make conversations, it was shut down and she had a wall up, and my Mom asks why she has a wall up lol.
To top this all off, on my 30th birthday last year my parents wanted me to go over the day before and spend most of the day there. They didn’t really have much of a plan, and my fiancé made her own plan for me at home since she thought my family had their own idea so she didn’t want to intrude. When we came back to our place, her family surprised me there and set up the house and we had a zoom call with her extended family. I showed my brother in text what they did and he said it’s too much and he’s disappointed and saddened, he hasn’t talked to me since December last year. My dad says I should reach out, I reached out 4 times and have not got a response. He never congratulated me for being engaged, doesn’t know my fiancé’s birthday nor has cared to get to know her for that last 7 years we’ve been together, he never said thanks when I sent him a birthday gift this past August, didn’t reply to my birthday wishes text.
This is why I have so much anxiety and self esteem issues. Everyone I’ve talked to in my life has re-assured me it’s not my fault and they’re being whack, but I still end up thinking this is all entirely on me.
shit sucks but parents/family get easier to deal with once you start looking at them as adults and not primarily titles and roles imo. why maintain a shit relationship?
Your mom is toxic, geez.
"It's just the way I am" is codespeak for "I'm an asshole, deal with it". It also sounds like your brother took after your mother.
It's time to distance yourself. If she wants to be in your life, it's at the point she needs to earn it. Treat that shit like a privilege that it is.
"It's just the way I am" is codespeak for "I'm an asshole, deal with it". It also sounds like your brother took after your mother.
It's time to distance yourself. If she wants to be in your life, it's at the point she needs to earn it. Treat that shit like a privilege that it is.
I feel that last paragraph and it's hard to deprogram.
It isn't your fault, and I know the anxiety that comes with having to deal with your family on any sort of basis, pushes you to tolerate or accept their idea that you're the one fucking up.
It isn't your fault, and I know the anxiety that comes with having to deal with your family on any sort of basis, pushes you to tolerate or accept their idea that you're the one fucking up.
@reilo Yeah, basically. Even when I try to explain how I feel it’s like “that’s just on you”. When I mentioned how saying other women look at me is hurtful and makes it seem like you don’t respect my decisions in life about who I’m with, she said maybe you’re just insecure about your relationship, I was just joking. I was like, yeah okay whatever you say.
@Patriotism Yep. That’s what happens a lot and I have to constantly remind myself I’m not wrong. I talked about it here before but I want to get a tattoo of ‘Know Thyself’ in Arabic on my bicep and this is why. It’s a reminder for myself to not let things get to my head about what’s going on and stop thinking I’m in the wrong.
@Patriotism Yep. That’s what happens a lot and I have to constantly remind myself I’m not wrong. I talked about it here before but I want to get a tattoo of ‘Know Thyself’ in Arabic on my bicep and this is why. It’s a reminder for myself to not let things get to my head about what’s going on and stop thinking I’m in the wrong.
"I'm just joking" defense is just lol
EDIT: Wait, you're a child of immigrants? RIP. It can improve but might take some effort/distancing.
EDIT: Wait, you're a child of immigrants? RIP. It can improve but might take some effort/distancing.
By reilo Go To Post"I'm just joking" defense is just lolI think I might need heavy distancing and to be super firm for anything to change really. Every time we go over we come home feeling shitty.
EDIT: Wait, you're a child of immigrants? RIP. It can improve but might take some effort/distancing.
By LuminaryGhost Go To PostI think I might need heavy distancing and to be super firm for anything to change really. Every time we go over we come home feeling shitty.Yup. You are grown and independent now. You don't owe them anything. They have to deserve your time and attention.
I know way too many people trying to placate asshole parents especially ones who disrespect their S.O. and they're not even dependent on them in any way. I just tell/ask people the same shit dy did up there. Why put so much mental and emotional energy into people who just fundamentally make you feel miserable. Set up some boundaries, keep them up and even just cut them out completely if they can't behave. It always sounds so drastic but people look and feel so much better when they're not rundown by anxiety and trying to get blood from a stone.
By reilo Go To Post"I'm just joking" defense is just lol
EDIT: Wait, you're a child of immigrants? RIP. It can improve but might take some effort/distancing.
That feel 🤫
I don’t even talk to my parents anymore. Only reason I did for so long was because I thought my brothers would stop talking to me bc they have great relationships with my parents
Straw that finally set me over the edge was me asking if my parents knew about a medical condition that I’ve always had but was never an issue until now, and they got all mad saying how could I accuse of them of being bad parents. Never even asked if I was okay or if something happened, they made my issue about their feelings.
On its own it doesn’t sound like anything serious, but after 30 years of dealing with their shit, I couldn’t do it anymore. I was prepared to lose my relationship with my brothers if it came to that, luckily they weren’t that dumb
Straw that finally set me over the edge was me asking if my parents knew about a medical condition that I’ve always had but was never an issue until now, and they got all mad saying how could I accuse of them of being bad parents. Never even asked if I was okay or if something happened, they made my issue about their feelings.
On its own it doesn’t sound like anything serious, but after 30 years of dealing with their shit, I couldn’t do it anymore. I was prepared to lose my relationship with my brothers if it came to that, luckily they weren’t that dumb
Most people aren’t even close to being fit to be a parent
Whether it’s being anti-abortion, being scared that no one is gonna take care of you when you get old, or you’re just too lazy to clean so you want free labor
We need more Pac in the world
Whether it’s being anti-abortion, being scared that no one is gonna take care of you when you get old, or you’re just too lazy to clean so you want free labor
We need more Pac in the world
Giving my first talk at a major conference in a couple of hours.
My presentation for those who are interested: https://docdro.id/wOQL7dU
My presentation for those who are interested: https://docdro.id/wOQL7dU
By FortuneFaded Go To PostGiving my first talk at a major conference in a couple of hours.I know some of these words.
My presentation for those who are interested: https://docdro.id/wOQL7dU
Good luck.
By FortuneFaded Go To PostGiving my first talk at a major conference in a couple of hours.
My presentation for those who are interested: https://docdro.id/wOQL7dU
Congrats man, I hope you knock it out if the park.
By FortuneFaded Go To PostGiving my first talk at a major conference in a couple of hours.
My presentation for those who are interested: https://docdro.id/wOQL7dU
Didn't know you were applying math to projects like this (kind of thought you were sticking to 'pure' math as it were). Cool stuff.
By Laboured Go To PostDidn't know you were applying math to projects like this (kind of thought you were sticking to 'pure' math as it were). Cool stuff.I was a pure mathematician until I got here and took some of the pure courses. Now I’m in the applied sector and am playing catchup.
Ah I see. Very pleased for you mate. Seems like impressive stuff (I say while understanding barely a thing I just read on those slides).
By FootbalIFan Go To PostI understand it and respect itAre you sure you don't want to ask Zabo what it means?
as a kid i always wanted to study math because i thought i was really good at it. i'm glad i never bothered because as it turned out i was not.
By Batong Go To PostAre you sure you don't want to ask Zabo what it means?I ask zabo and vapo for advice and explanations in the PC thread and in life. No other subjects will I accept their help
