My writing stuff.
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I'm gonna be writing a lot of stuff over the next two months and I'll be submitting to the newspaper or SBNation after I post it here. So if anyone wants to give feedback on these things before I try to publish them, that would be awesome.
Here's an experiment in climate change writing I'm trying out and will try to submit to the newspaper soon. I'm trying to make a carbon tax philosophically appealing to people on the right.
https://dismalcreature.wordpress.com/2015/04/13/climate-change-writing-experiment/
Minor stuff: If you're writing in AP style, there's no Oxford comma; certain things need to be hyphenated (freedom-loving).
Syntactically, it's awkward in spots. The whole thing feels a little wooden, the wording a little stilted. Like, in the opening paragraph, maybe replace this:
On the other hand, government regulations could restrict the freedom of business owners to run their businesses how they see fit. However, we don’t need a Nanny State of the government controlling our decisions to limit climate change. If we make the burning of fossil fuels more costly, we can stop climate change with limited government intervention.
With something more streamlined like this?
However, the last thing that we need is more invasive government regulations telling you how to run your business. With one simple tax on carbon energy use, we can both limit government intervention and accomplish our goal of preventing further climate change.
I'm not saying use my exactly phrasing, but that's the big thing I would say: brevity is important. What I wrote has the same message in fewer words with the bonus of not having harsh language like nanny state. When you're writing journalistically, simpler is better.
By IWMTB19 Go To Post Hmm, you're probably right. I was excited about this idea, but writing it came out more awkwardly than I was expecting. I'll do some revisions to try to make it flow better. Thanks, Rodeo.
Anytime, man. You can help me put this degree to some use. (Hopefully I wasn't too harsh!)
Sorry, i meant to comment earlier, i'm no england major, not by far. But this is an awesome exercise, hope people can get behind you and help.
https://dismalcreature.wordpress.com/2015/04/18/on-social-justice-discussion-online/
By IWMTB19 Go To PostHey, a heavily revised version of that article is about to get published in a local newspaper so thanks, Rodeo.That's awesome, dude! Glad I could be of some help here.
Sorry I didn't get to look at your second piece.
And officially published.
The possibilities regarding climate change are uncomfortable, but solutions exist. A fee on carbon would slow climate change by making fossil fuels less viable while giving individuals the freedom to address the problem in their own way.This is great.
My Op-Ed was so popular, I got an infamous, Koch brothers funded lacky from Canada to write a furious response to me, lol.
By IWMTB19 Go To PostThanks, Rodeo.You made it! Champagne for everyone.
My Op-Ed was so popular, I got an infamous, Koch brothers funded lacky from Canada to write a furious response to me, lol.