Moris #18OnTheWay

2015 NBA April |OT| CP3, Left Hand Red

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The New York Knicks Give The City Hope

The Knicks have reached a franchise record 60 losses recently, and there's a buzz around the city. Phil Jackson was brought in to turn things around for The Knickerbockers, but he has done so much more. It's no news that times are indeed hard for the average American, and that truth is just as clear in The Big Apple as anywhere else. But one glance at this pathetic Knicks team and you can't help but feel better about your own plight.

Local New Yoker "rapper" Papoose had this to say, "Ya know, when Phil got here I knew great things were ahead, but I couldn't have pictured this, it's a blessing. My last album sold like 8,000 copies nah'mean, so like fuck, I had to ship every last one of them bitches out myself between my shifts at the diner, but then I check out The Knicks and shit, who are these people? Heroes, that's who."

Earlier this week a man perched atop a building threatening to jump was talked down when police handed him footage of Knicks forward https://vine.co/v/OYWOBOzg7jm">Lou Amundson airballing a wide open lay up. The man thanked the officers once he came down saying, "They saved me, but really The Knicks saved me. I really needed that perspective and Lou if you're hearing about this, please reach out to me, I know what it's like, don't do anything foolish."

Bystanders at the scene also showed appreciation for the unholy mound of excrement that is this year's Knicks team. "Oh yea, they've helped me when I was low. My wife and I split late last year around the same time I lost my job due to a subtance abuse issue, it was really hard on the kids and myself but we've since bounced back. I showed my kids a recent Knicks game and they teared up at first and asked where Carmelo was. But something clicked when they saw him on the bench clearly in a worse place than we were. They looked at his sad chubby face and held my hand and said 'daddy we're gonna be alright'. Thanks Phil, you're doing the lord's work."







Eastern Conference


http://i.imgur.com/pCChhFf.png">

Record: 14 - 60

The Knicks...had a hard life season. They need some time to rest. They've reached a new franchise low in losses this season, but with a guaranteed top 4 pick and 5 more seasons of a maxed Carmelo Anthony with what may be a bum knee, I'm sure things will turn around for NY very soon. APRIL FOOLS.


  http://i.imgur.com/qDzTBxz.png"> Record: 18 - 57

Noel has realized a bit of his potential and is playing some good defense. So what if everytime he jumps Philly fans have to perform stations of the cross, he has with very little help, forced Philly into a better(see:worse) standing than many anticipated. A more seasoned Noel + a healthy Embiid next season should be pretty entertaining to watch in suits on the bench.


http://i.imgur.com/CqiZwam.png"> Record: 22 - 52

Elfrid Payton has averaged 13pts-8ast-6rbd in March, numbers over his season average all while shooting at a better clip. Aaron Gordon on the other hand has somehow regressed late in the season. He is on a pretty short leash, only gets ~15 minutes of play time and at 19 years old I doubt Orlando are too upset about his play. Oladipo has built on a solid rookie season and has improved pretty much across the board. Orlando is young enough to expect a bettter record next season on just the development of their current players, hitting with their upcoming pick would no doubt be a boon to their growth.


http://i.imgur.com/MIeGYzT.png"> Record: 23 - 36

Detroit is just outside of the 7th/8th eastern conference playoff fight. Reggie Jackson is starting to gel better with the roster there, but losing Greg Monroe this offseason almost seems like a guarantee. Drummond may be poised to make a leap next season, and if Jennings can be re-intergrated into this new Pistons team successfully or traded for a good piece, don't be shocked to see Detroit join next season's slap-fight to be bounced in the first round.


http://i.imgur.com/bi2JJO7.png"> Record: 31 - 42

Hornets were 2 games over .500 at the end of last season, a mark they can not reach this season even if they go undefeated until the playoffs. This should teach DY to stop messing with that dark troll magic, but it won't.


http://i.imgur.com/oCAYeQz.png"> Record: 32 - 42

Without Paul George, Indiana has still managed to be in position to make the playoffs, so that's kinda cool.


http://i.imgur.com/ylmbj8M.png"> Record: 33 - 41

Celtdicks am so close to playoff.........Uahahahah diehard.......bosston am Young & Smart. Hawks will loss to Avery Bradley. Never doubt lion of a champion, What say Slaent? #Papangu


http://i.imgur.com/MkogGON.png"> Record: 33 - 40

The Nets are 8-2 in their last 10, in that sample only Golden State has a higher winning percentage. It was a pretty favorable stretch including games against Philly, Minnesota and LA. They were also able to get wins over fellow treadmill squads Indiana and Charlotte.


http://i.imgur.com/ynFNNgC.png"> Record: 33 - 40

Wade's health is still shit and Whiteside might be in need of mental help or is just a giant asshole. The season hasn't gone well for Miami, adding more games to Deng, Birdman and Wade's legs with no hope of playoff advancement might be the worst part of all. A tough first round sweep exit is probably the worst outcome Miami could hope for if their older guys leave it all on the court.


http://i.imgur.com/WjLcYVa.png"> Record: 36 - 38

MCW is trash regardless of situation it turns out, but with Chicago in the hospital and Toronto being underwhelming, they could very well see the 2nd round of the playoffs.


http://i.imgur.com/bVjkocJ.png"> Record: 41 - 33

I'm sure they'll turn it around in time for a playoff push. APRIL FOOLS.


http://i.imgur.com/AaIPdoN.png"> Record: 44 - 30

Raptors are 14 games over .500 and will have HCA in the playoffs. APRIL FOOLS...wait, what....wait the fuck.


http://i.imgur.com/QMtHCzD.png"> Record: 45 - 29

Thib's "Hamster-Wheel" minute distribution among his starters is still in effect, Rose is back in practice preparing for his next knee injury and yet they still could end up in the Eastern Conference Finals. What a time to be a fraud.


http://i.imgur.com/Xv02LtK.png"> Record: 48 - 27

Lebron James is still pretty good at basketball, Kyrie Irving is also kinda good at basketball. Kevin Love is being used pretty ineffectively, really begs the question, how much money is enough to be treated poorly in one of America's worst cities?


http://i.imgur.com/dHg6Pth.png"> Record: 56 - 19

Atlanta has the #1 seed locked up and are coasting to the playoffs with the top down.




Western Conference

http://i.imgur.com/40Zsocq.png"> Record: 16 - 58

Their best players have been hurt most of the season, Wiggins looks like Rookie of The Year, Lavine ain't shit. Minnesota could add a difference maker to Rubio-Wiggins-Pek core this draft and snatch that 9th seed next season.


http://i.imgur.com/hGzeq5o.png"> Record: 20 - 53

Jordan Clarkson is the only bright spot in LA's season thus far, since the all-star break the 46th pick in last year's draft has averaged 15pt-5ast-4rb with 48FG%, the only other rookie point guard producing at this level is the 10th overall pick Elfrid Payton. Nevertheless LA as a whole hasn't been terrible enough to guarantee that they'll keep their pick in this draft


http://i.imgur.com/BgaQyC0.png"> Record: 26 - 47

Sacramento has the 6th worst record in the league and would be wise not to win too many more games before the end of the season.


http://i.imgur.com/1PpyL5Z.png"> Record: 28 - 46

No one cares.


http://i.imgur.com/kvsPWSQ.png"> Record: 33 - 41

Utah has played awesome defense lately, turns out when you're not playing Kanter 27 minutes a game you can play pretty great defense. Exum looks like a bust more and more each month, but Gobert looks legit. #SunRiseSunSet


http://i.imgur.com/RnGkZnR.png"> Record: 38 - 37

Phoenix hasn't been so hot. Essentially eliminated from the playoff race, losing Dragic has turned the speed down on their treadmill.


http://i.imgur.com/HijOPBM.png"> Record: 39 - 34

Nola will likely miss the playoffs despite Anthony Davis having an amazing season. Their win now attitude was a total miscalculation, and completely unnecessary with their best player being 22 years old.


http://i.imgur.com/GzVKYRQ.png"> Record: 42 - 32

Durant's season is done and Ibaka's might as well be. They'll end up curb stomped by Golden State in the first round. Durant's injury has added tons of question marks for him, his career and next season. Dongo might cry in the car.


http://i.imgur.com/KZIxuEn.png"> Record: 45 - 29

Rajon Rondo is shooting .362(25 of 69) from the charity stripe.


http://i.imgur.com/6peJzIv.png"> Record: 48 - 26

Spurs have entered 'Playoff Mode', Houston still has a few more games to dodge them and get the 2nd seed.


http://i.imgur.com/VMzu1rF.png"> Record: 49 - 26

The Clippers have the same problem that they had to begin the season, their bench is trash, but that'll probably improve in the playoffs. APRIL FOOLS.


http://i.imgur.com/SHcH79F.png"> Record: 48 - 25

Losing Wes really put a damper on Portland and their playoff push, the addition of Afflalo has helped alleviate some of the woes, but he's no Wes.


http://i.imgur.com/n9e97x6.png"> Record: 50 - 24

Dwight's back with a pretty strict minute restriction averaging 18 mpg in the last 3 games he participated in. Houston is not planning to play him on the 2nd of back to backs, he's likely to miss 3+ more games before the playoffs start. Houston might make noise in the playoffs, Harden has kept the team afloat, but McHale is still the head coach of The Houston Rockets.


http://i.imgur.com/eHA2WFV.png"> Record: 51 - 24

Memphis has been somewhat lackluster to finish out the season....that's about it.


http://i.imgur.com/mxiag8o.png"> Record: 61 - 13

The Warriors have the #1 seed locked up and they are resting players for their playoff push. OKC about to get this work.

unknown

Moris is mad NY future is bright.

livefromkyoto

That Nuggets analysis...so on point.

RBK #PimpwerxJr

Over/under 50 percent chance that the Blazers are a first round knockout?


rodeoclown

For real, though, I'd love to be the 9th best team in the conference.

s y #OsamaBinBoomin

By RBK Go To Post

Over/under 50 percent chance that the Blazers are a first round knockout?


depends on if they play Houston in the first round.

DY_nasty #weakesthatiandogeater

Drummond might've just broken Al's jaw with an elbow... yikes


that's why mouthguards exist right there :(

Jokicic #Psyche-esque

By RBK Go To Post

Over/under 50 percent chance that the Blazers are a first round knockout?


i would say 49/51 against Clippers, 30/70 against Spurs and 70/30 against Rockets.

so pretty much slightly under. 

diehard #Always_Wrong

By rodeoclown Go To Post For real, though, I'd love to be the 9th best team in the conference.

It's great!

Moris #18OnTheWay

By rodeoclown Go To Post For real, though, I'd love to be the 9th best team in the conference.

It's almost poetic.

Koko

By Moris Go To Post

http://i.imgur.com/1PpyL5Z.png"> Record: 28 - 46

No one cares.


rodeoclown

By diehard Go To Post

It's great!

The Wolves have had two competitive seasons in 11 years. Yes, it does sound great.

Jamal Jenkins

Are the Hawks the most disrespected 1 seed in long time? 

diehard #Always_Wrong

By rodeoclown Go To Post

The Wolves have had two competitive seasons in 11 years. Yes, it does sound great.

The joke was the Jazz are 9th best in the conference... and it's been a fun year.

RBK #PimpwerxJr

By Diprosalic Go To Post

i would say 49/51 against Clippers, 30/70 against Spurs and 70/30 against Rockets.

so pretty much slightly under. 

You don't have confidence in your own team?


Jokicic #Psyche-esque

5 lame ass eastern conference teams on :sleepy: 

RBK #PimpwerxJr

By Avon Randolph Barksdale Go To Post Are the Hawks the most disrespected 1 seed in long time? 

Maybe and well deserved.

Jokicic #Psyche-esque

By RBK Go To Post

You don't have confidence in your own team?


hey, i gave them the 1%. 

romrei

Celtdicks am so close to playoff.........Uahahahah diehard.......bosston am Young & Smart. Hawks will loss to Avery Bradley. Never doubt lion of a champion, What say Slaent? #Papangu huauhauhauuhu slaetn>neogaf thanks mangs...... go celtics...................

IWMTB19 #NeoliberalSJW

By Avon Randolph Barksdale Go To Post Are the Hawks the most disrespected 1 seed in long time? 

The Pacers last year were considered a joke and a bad team and were universally hated and mocked so no, the Hawks aren't close to that level of disrespect.

DY_nasty #weakesthatiandogeater

blatant tanking by the pistons right now

IWMTB19 #NeoliberalSJW

I like the new ESPN, it looks way less garbage than most sports sites.

fertygo #Top5Offense

I ain't even man we're fraud doe.. Cow God bless me enough with Mirotic.

Jokicic #Psyche-esque

By romrei Go To Post slaetn>neogaf thanks mangs...... go celtics...................

<3 

haha, they filter your name on GAF. 


Kuma #BlowItUp

KCP foul trouble.. Great.

unknown

Dam philly is already dead.

Kuma #BlowItUp

I don't see Portland beating the Clippers, that match too brutal for them.. Anyone else they face is just as bad except Rockets, Memphis and Dallas. So about 25 chance they make it out of the first round.

knux-future #CantHaveNiceThings

Moris pls

s y #OsamaBinBoomin

Hairston is definitely not playing like rookie wade,LBJor melo

DY_nasty #weakesthatiandogeater

By KumaJG Go To Post I don't see Portland beating the Clippers, that match too brutal for them.. Anyone else they face is just as bad except Rockets, Memphis and Dallas. So about 25 chance they make it out of the first round.

Portland should destroy the Clips. They don't have anyone that can guard LMA and LA's bench is dead on arrival.

ffs tho... detroit is throwing the game in the worst way

DY_nasty #weakesthatiandogeater

By psychintellect Go To Post Hairston is definitely not playing like rookie wade,LBJor melo

better than woman beating bench warmer that started ahead of him tho

and no i'm not talking about lance

reilo #InterstellarHootchieKootchie

Clips are 16th in DRtg this year.

RBK #PimpwerxJr

33% chance Portland gets out of the first round because Houston likes to encourage Aldridge jersey sales.

They're not realistically playing Memphis or Dallas, so not worth mentioning.  Blazers/Clippers fans will have better insight on the matchup, but I don't see them(Portland) winning in a 7 game series against them.

KingGondo #Gondodamus

Tonight is the start of our climb to the 7 seed.

unknown

By KingGondo Go To Post Tonight is the start of our climb to the 7 seed.

you really want to make the playoffs only to lose and get nowhere? Better to miss it and get extra rest.

RBK #PimpwerxJr

By unknown Go To Post

you really want to make the playoffs only to lose and get nowhere? Better to miss it and get extra rest.

Nah no way, Pelicans draft pick too valuable.

Kuma #BlowItUp

By DY_nasty Go To Post

Portland should destroy the Clips. They don't have anyone that can guard LMA and LA's bench is dead on arrival.

ffs tho... detroit is throwing the game in the worst way

LMA the real positive match up they got. Even then Blake going him make work on both ends. Lillard/Affalo in a negative match-ups and Batum scoring is inconsistent.

Clippers bench should be fine with Crawford back. Blazers bench is nothing to be scare of.

DY_nasty #weakesthatiandogeater

By KumaJG Go To Post

LMA the real positive match up they got. Even then Blake going him make work on both ends. Lillard/Affalo in a negative match-ups and Batum scoring is inconsistent.

Clippers bench should be fine with Crawford back. Blazers bench is nothing to be scare of.

Naw, Blake gets his lunch taken by LMA. Been like that their entire career. He just can't deal with LMA's shoulder into chest. Afflalo's typically done well against JJ through his career - and its not like JJ has ever been a factor in a playoff series either. LA has a natural handicap in Deandre late game too. Portland's bench isn't great, but they're not a consistent net-negative like LA's.

Also... CP3 is a bitch

rodeoclown

I admit I haven't seen the Wolves much lately, but it seems like they're shooting more 3s right now. Did somebody tell Flip it isn't 1995?

etiolation

The decades of terrible Rockets announcers has to have to do with how sensitive Rocket fans are.

RBK #PimpwerxJr

TJonesDaGod returns and no one mentions it?

Surprised we're up so early.

butt #butt

By KumaJG Go To Post I don't see Portland beating the Clippers, that match too brutal for them.. Anyone else they face is just as bad except Rockets, Memphis and Dallas. So about 25 chance they make it out of the first round.

I'll give them a 50/50 shot against anyone except the spurs if they get hca but wes really tied the room together

etiolation

I can't beleive Rockets announcers are talking about other players flopping. 

RBK #PimpwerxJr

By etiolation Go To Post I can't beleive Rockets announcers are talking about other players flopping. 

In all honesty, 90% of charges are flops.

fertygo #Top5Offense

Greak Freak is bananas

DY_nasty #weakesthatiandogeater

a caller hit up 610 this morning and dropped this:

"I would rather have Morgan freeman talk me through how to masturbate than have Steve clifford coach 10 more games"

RBK #PimpwerxJr

Can we use the "coaching" excuse that Dallas should beat Memphis in the playoffs?

Unless Joerger is a better coach than Carlisle you know...

livefromkyoto

Raptor fans in Minnesota are making more noise than the locals.

thekad

HarGod

rodeoclown

By livefromkyoto Go To Post Raptor fans in Minnesota are making more noise than the locals.

Nobody cares. Wiggins is the only starter playing tonight. LaVine and Payne won't be in the league in a couple years so who wants to rush out and pay money for that? 

IWMTB19 #NeoliberalSJW

Exum gonna get that work from an alcoholic who doesn't practice.

And we'll win by 15, so there is that.

This thread is closed.

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