Morning, lads.
By Francis Go To PostIf they can grab an away goal, then they’ll be favourites to win the play off finals.
By Francis Go To PostYou have my deepest sympathies. I've been sick during this last week, luckily not with the flu. Started a penicillin cure yesterday.
I'm literally a one-man phlegm bukkake right now. It's horrible. Throat is as sore as suen's asshole.
By Facism Go To PostI'm literally a one-man phlegm bukkake right now. It's horrible. Throat is as sore as suen's asshole.
Okay, you win, I’m aroused.
When your throat tickles and you dont know why then you cough up unnaturally green phelgm after about 4 hours of coughing and then get 10 mins of a nice clear throat until the mucus forms again.
The relief is amazing.
The relief is amazing.
By Grizzled Cola Go To PostWhen your throat tickles and you dont know why then you cough up unnaturally green phelgm after about 4 hours of coughing and then get 10 mins of a nice clear throat until the mucus forms again.
The relief is amazing.
I'd love that if my throat wasn't raw like Andres' after the succ
By Facism Go To Postthat period in the flu where you're coughing up bare loads of the thickest phlegm.
Vomited blood at like 3am. Having a cracking day so far.
By Laboured Go To PostVomited blood at like 3am. Having a cracking day so far.
That sounds proper haram, lad.
By Facism Go To PostThat sounds proper haram, lad.
Work's forced me to come in as well so you can imagine what an incredibly good mood I'm in at the moment.
Guns N' Roses on another European/Scandinavian "reunion" tour in 2018.
What a time to be alive. Yurt, where are you now?
What a time to be alive. Yurt, where are you now?
By Laboured Go To PostWork's forced me to come in as well so you can imagine what an incredibly good mood I'm in at the moment.
Wow, shithounds. How productive can they expect you to be in the middle of being smashed about by a virus?
Transfer Gossip (12:00 update)
Atletico Madrid want to sign Manchester United midfielder Ander Herrera. The 28-year-old's contract expires at the end of the season. (AS via Daily Mirror)
Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is interested in swapping Alexis Sanchez, 28, for Paris Saint-Germain's 24-year old winger Julian Draxler in January. (Daily Star)
Neymar could join Real Madrid after the 25-year-old forward has won trophies with Paris St Germain, according to Chelsea striker Alvaro Morata. (Goal via El Larguero)
Lech Poznan winger Kamil Jozwiak, 19, wants to join Leeds United, according to a spokesman for the Polish club. (Express)
Argentina striker Sergio Aguero, 29, has revealed next season will be his last at Manchester City - and he wants to join boyhood club Independiente. (Daily Mirror)
Crystal Palace manager Roy Hodgson wants to sign Jack Wilshere in January. (The Telegraph)
Manchester United are hoping to pip Chelsea and Barcelona to Brazilian 21-year-old "wonderkid" Arthur Melo. (Daily Mirror)
Paris St-Germain are seeking to make Chelsea boss Antonio Conte their next manager. (Le Parisien via Sun)
West Ham's new boss David Moyes could sell record signing Marko Arnautovic, 28, in January, less than four months after the striker arrived for £25m. Moyes wants Bournemouth's Harry Arter, 27, fellow midfielder William Carvalho, 25, of Sporting Lisbon, and Sunderland's Ivory Coast defender Lamine Kone, 28. (Daily Mirror)
Stoke chairman Peter Coates expects Peter Crouch to be offered a new contract and is optimistic about the England striker, 36, signing it. (Stoke Sentinel)
Everton, Newcastle and Middlesbrough are tracking Leeds United forward Mallik Wilks, 18, following his impressive form on loan at Accrington Stanley. (Football Insider)
Belgium forward Kevin Mirallas, 30, will decide on his Everton future after the club appoint a new manager. (Liverpool Echo)
Arsenal face a battle to keep hold of Hector Bellerin, with Juventus keen on the 22-year-old Spanish defender. (Daily Mirror)
Germany general manager Oliver Bierhoff has suggested Schalke and Germany midfielder Leon Goretzka, 22, has agreed a move to the Premier League. (Daily Mirror)
Arsenal have been urged by their former captain Tony Adams to sell forward Alexis Sanchez, 28, as soon as possible. (Omnisport via Sun)
Manchester United have agreed a deal to sign Benfica's Guinean attacker Umaro Embalo, 16. (Record via Metro)
Former England midfielder Frank Lampard, 39, is open to returning to Chelsea and working with his former side "in some way" after being linked with the vacant technical director role. (Evening Standard)
Former England boss Sam Allardyce is interested in becoming the next manager of the United States national team. (Sky Sports)
Spain striker Alvaro Morata, 25, says he does not regret joining Chelsea. (Marca - in Spanish)
Liverpool are closing in on 18-year-old midfielder Kai Havertz with the Bayer Leverkusen starlet having visited Melwood training ground. (Daily Mirror)
Chelsea's Belgium forward Eden Hazard, 26, has admitted it would be a "dream" to play under Real Madrid boss Zinedine Zidane. (RTL via Sky Sports)
Meanwhile…
Former Manchester City manager Roberto Mancini wants £15m a year and regular flights back to Italy if he is to join a Premier League club again. (The Sun)
Manchester United sent a scout to Iceland to watch a match - only to discover it was being played in Qatar. (Fotbolti.net via the Sun)
Locals have been left baffled after the letters 'LFC' - the initials of Liverpool Football Club - were found carved into a Shropshire hillside by Ordnance Survey employees. (Shropshire Star)
Winger Demarai Gray, 21, says he has missed out on an England call-up because he was "held back" by Leicester. (Daily Express)
Chelsea midfielder Danny Drinkwater, 27, is set to be exiled from England's World Cup squad after rejecting a call-up for the friendlies against Germany and Brazil. (Sun)
Fifa revived the Telstar, the first made-for-television football used at the 1970 World Cup, as it unveiled the official match ball for the 2018 World Cup in Russia. (Eurosport)
Manchester City have denied that Amazon Prime will have access to manager Pep Guardiola's team talks after agreeing a £10m-plus deal for a behind-the-scenes TV series. (Daily Mail)
Guardiola has been accused of ruining Italian defending, by Juventus defender Giorgio Chiellini. (Tuttosport via Manchester Evening News)
Manchester United are set to welcome back Paul Pogba from injury after the international break, along with fellow midfielder Michael Carrick and defender Marcos Rojo. (Daily Mail)
Non-league Dulwich Hamlet have started a fundraising appeal as a dispute between a property developer and the local council threatens their future. (Guardian)
Frank Lampard photo bombed some Chelsea fans in Tokyo. (Chelsea Twitter)
Manchester United striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic, 36, says he will not return to international football even if Sweden qualify for the World Cup. (Guardian)
Best of Thursday's gossip
Real Madrid have made 24-year-old Tottenham striker Harry Kane their first choice to replace France forward Karim Benzema, 29. (Diario Gol via Daily Mirror)
Manchester United directors fear manager Jose Mourinho is ready to quit the Old Trafford club in the summer and will move to Paris St-Germain. (Sun)
Manchester United manager Mourinho is keen to add to his squad in January and is targeting Barcelona centre-back Samuel Umtiti, 23. (Daily Mirror)
Arsenal have set an asking price of £30m for midfielder Mesut Ozil, 29, whose contract at Emirates Stadium ends in the summer. The German has been linked with a move to Manchester United. (Daily Star)
West Ham's new boss David Moyes could sell record signing Marko Arnautovic, 28, in January, less than four months after the striker arrived for £25m. Moyes wants Bournemouth's Harry Arter, 27, fellow midfielder William Carvalho, 25, of Sporting Lisbon, and Sunderland's Ivory Coast defender Lamine Kone, 28. (Daily Mirror)
By Facism Go To PostWow, shithounds. How productive can they expect you to be in the middle of being smashed about by a virus?
Well quite. Can't say I feel especially motivated.
By Laboured Go To PostWork's forced me to come in as well so you can imagine what an incredibly good mood I'm in at the moment.Dear Lord. D:
By Laboured Go To PostWell quite. Can't say I feel especially motivated.
last time work forced me in, i spent half the day in the shitter. I think they got the message after that.
Still got the flu too. Haven't had a proper nights sleep in about two weeks, yesterday was the first day without a headache. 😷
By Laboured Go To PostYeah but who is he really harming?He's not though.
He's a funny guy.
By Punished Go To PostStill got the flu too. Haven't had a proper nights sleep in about two weeks, yesterday was the first day without a headache. 😷the fuck
He's not though.
By Laboured Go To PostWork's forced me to come in as well so you can imagine what an incredibly good mood I'm in at the moment.Well I can work from home but these painkillers makes me sleepy so not sure im very productive atm.
As slow as mertesacker on a cold Tuesday night .
By Punished Go To PostStill got the flu too. Haven't had a proper nights sleep in about two weeks, yesterday was the first day without a headache. 😷
He's not though.
By Laboured Go To PostFF please, why can't you see that he is a class A cunt.
By Laboured Go To Post
guycryingintostacksofmoney.gif
By Lego Go To PostHe's definitely off to Madrid once Ronaldo is finishedEl Clasico would be interesting.
Ramos recently said he gets along with him well and that he's always welcome.
Bring Mbappe too please.
By Frustrated_me Go To PostEl Clasico would be interesting.how can you even rationalize having a cunt like Neymar play for Real after hating him and thinking he's a cunt for years?
Ramos recently said he gets along with him well and that he's always welcome.
Bring Mbappe too please.
makes no sense
By Hitch Go To PostNot sure who I want to win between Ireland and Denmarkfuck off
On the one hand, I'd have little interest in Denmark as a whole at the tournament. On the other, Eriksen is a joy to watch while Ireland have nothing but cloggers. And their fans' self-praise gets on my tits, in a way that drives home how insufferable Liverpool fans must be.
By Laboured Go To PostI just want to be turned into the finest quality glue.Pritt stick it is
By rvy Go To Posthow can you even rationalize having a cunt like Neymar play for Real after hating him and thinking he's a cunt for years?Nah Neymar will always be a cunt for me, I'm just going with the narrative. I'd rather he stay away, we have a unified dressing room where everyone gets along, why ruin that.
makes no sense
But Mbappe? In a heartbeat.
By Laboured Go To PostI just want to be turned into the finest quality glue.You can beat some out in the toilet
The arguments to why people don't like football are ridiculous really.
I gave the World Cup a try a few years ago because my best friend is a huge fan, and man, those guys turned me off. So much diving, so much fishing for fouls (cards?). And the insane celebrations for merely scoring a goal - the entire point of the game? Really turned me off to the sport.
The lack of video to confirm/cancel fouls is why this sport will keep being a huge fucking joke to me.Just say you don't think it's fun.
By FlutterPuffs Go To PostYou can beat some out in the toilet
Nine days without a manager (might be ten, can't even remember which night we played Bolton) and not even a single rumour of a manager being approached other than social media rumours involving Heckingbottom, Karanka and Nathan Jones (Luton(!!!) manager). Sound.
By rvy Go To Posthow can you even rationalize having a cunt like Neymar play for Real after hating him and thinking he's a cunt for years?Because football is tribalism, man. Same reason some Liverpool fans and players defended Suarez's racism and biting.
makes no sense
By Laboured Go To PostWork's forced me to come in as well so you can imagine what an incredibly good mood I'm in at the moment.Do you work for the Taliban?
Go to the doctor, lad
By Bold 2 in One Go To PostDo you work for the Taliban?
Go to the doctor, lad
Fuck no. At least the Taliban would give me heroin.
I fucking hate Windows update service, it has to be one of the worst pieces of software ever written.
By rossonero Go To PostThe arguments to why people don't like football are ridiculous really.think these people have never played footy or know how hard to control a ball can get
Just say you don't think it's fun.
My prediction of having Neymar at Madrid in the 19/20 season might be 1 year off after all.
Wouldnt be massively surprise if hes there next season.
Wouldnt be massively surprise if hes there next season.