By Smokey Go To PostTalk to emreilo the sort of guy that ends up paying child support for 18 years for a kid that isn't his.
The longer you wait in the dating game, the more likely you'll find someone with a kid or wants one bad. Those biological clocks are no joke. Of course you could find someone who doesn't want them, but most women aren't wired like that.
Reilo and DY will be dad at some point 😁
reilo is 100% the kind of guy who finds a woman, has kid with woman, has woman run off, and ends up raising a kid solo and bitter
By DY_nasty Go To Postshe takes the dog and your creditIn the BMW.
By reilo Go To Posthahah like I'd be lucky enough to find a woman that knows how to drive manualthat's how you fell in love ofc
By Fenderputty Go To PostY'all are mean. DY is a great father and some day Reilo will be pretty good.
By Random Ass Username Go To PostWho said it was her driving.Oh Damn, Savage.
By data Go To PostNever dating a co-worker againyeah don't.
nevah
i mean.... there's the few times where its awesome. but the majority of the time you're better off eating laundry detergent
By data Go To PostI dont mean like a line just like degree of forwardnesssup, how's it going, saw you liked x, i too do, in particular i like doing / watching / dogging this specific part of x.
Like, all first communications are going to be awkward because profiles are written, intentionally or not, vague as hell to cast a wide net. Because no one wants to scare off potential suitors, and it's impossible to put your personality in a profile.
Unless I'm having deja vu, I thought I posted something here this afternoon, but now I don't see it. Oh well, here goes again.
Nothing might come of this, but it was interesting nonetheless.
I updated my OKCupid for the first time in 10 months. I had not used the app since April of last year. While browsing around to see what the deal was with women in the Sacramento area, I came across a cool profile. The profile was funny in parts and yet serious about what she was looking for. The tone caught my eye and she looks good too. She's 5'10" and mentioned in one of her sections that most of the guys who list that as their height or even 6" end up being shorter than her. That made me laugh, because of the stigma and short guys lying etc.
I decided to like a different part of her profile and sent a message along with it.
So I had forgotten about the changes they made last year. After I sent the message I started to freak out because I could no longer see her profile, the message I sent, or the bookmark I added for her. It was if she had vanished or deleted her profile. I was in the app, not the browser, so I had not history of actually click on her account or pictures. I really though i was dreaming about even messaging her. Maybe I had been duped by OKCupid. Could it have been a fake profile? my train of thought was all over the place after that. That's when I decided to do a search and my memory was jogged on the changes they made to messaging late last year.
If I understand it all properly, everyone must like a profile or section of a profile to open up the "send" message feature. After that, the message ends up in a limbo state for an undefined period of time. If the recipient doesn't use Doubletake or have A-list (to see likes), they'll likely never see your message. To have your message sent, they must go into their doubletake matches and like you back. On the doubletake screen, they''ll see a notification that your profile message them. If like they like you back, then the message goes into their inbox. When/if it gets read is a different story, but its more likely since they actively have to like you to receive your message.
This change was made to stop the harassment and influx of too many messages that women normally get. And it make sense in theory.
I didn't expect much after that, but she eventually liked me back, so I guess she thought my profile and pictures were good enough to see what I wrote her. Hopefully the message I sent didn't kill the interest because she seems very interesting and has a good outlook on online dating and how we present ourselves on there.
Who knows...
Note: I swear that I didn't receive the message that the profile would be hidden until they liked me back.
Nothing might come of this, but it was interesting nonetheless.
I updated my OKCupid for the first time in 10 months. I had not used the app since April of last year. While browsing around to see what the deal was with women in the Sacramento area, I came across a cool profile. The profile was funny in parts and yet serious about what she was looking for. The tone caught my eye and she looks good too. She's 5'10" and mentioned in one of her sections that most of the guys who list that as their height or even 6" end up being shorter than her. That made me laugh, because of the stigma and short guys lying etc.
I decided to like a different part of her profile and sent a message along with it.
So I had forgotten about the changes they made last year. After I sent the message I started to freak out because I could no longer see her profile, the message I sent, or the bookmark I added for her. It was if she had vanished or deleted her profile. I was in the app, not the browser, so I had not history of actually click on her account or pictures. I really though i was dreaming about even messaging her. Maybe I had been duped by OKCupid. Could it have been a fake profile? my train of thought was all over the place after that. That's when I decided to do a search and my memory was jogged on the changes they made to messaging late last year.
If I understand it all properly, everyone must like a profile or section of a profile to open up the "send" message feature. After that, the message ends up in a limbo state for an undefined period of time. If the recipient doesn't use Doubletake or have A-list (to see likes), they'll likely never see your message. To have your message sent, they must go into their doubletake matches and like you back. On the doubletake screen, they''ll see a notification that your profile message them. If like they like you back, then the message goes into their inbox. When/if it gets read is a different story, but its more likely since they actively have to like you to receive your message.
This change was made to stop the harassment and influx of too many messages that women normally get. And it make sense in theory.
I didn't expect much after that, but she eventually liked me back, so I guess she thought my profile and pictures were good enough to see what I wrote her. Hopefully the message I sent didn't kill the interest because she seems very interesting and has a good outlook on online dating and how we present ourselves on there.
Who knows...
Note: I swear that I didn't receive the message that the profile would be hidden until they liked me back.
the open relationship thing seems to be exploding wtf
like, legit online profiles that display both partners together and linking to each others profile
this wasn't the case even two years ago in this area
like, legit online profiles that display both partners together and linking to each others profile
this wasn't the case even two years ago in this area
People just giving up the charade. All the more power to some folks. Wouldn't personally get involved in romantic triangles though.
Some people can do 'em but (and here's where my misanthropy shines through) most people can barely deal with one relationship in an emotionally mature manner. More than one? lol that's a stress test that's out of control.
By DY_nasty Go To Posttreat your partners like smokey's gaming backlog brehs
Never touch or think about them?
By DY_nasty Go To Posttreat your partners like smokey's gaming backlog brehs
Only care bout max settings/makin it look best then discard?
By Dark PhaZe Go To Postthe open relationship thing seems to be exploding wtfThat was common when I was in the Bay Area. I don't have time/patience for that sort of thing.
like, legit online profiles that display both partners together and linking to each others profile
this wasn't the case even two years ago in this area
By DY_nasty Go To Posttreat your partners like smokey's gaming backlog brehsNot even consider doing anything with them until they are massively bloated?
girl i'm into stop talking to me about how your relationship isnt going well i'm trying to not be that guy
By data Go To Postgirl i'm into stop talking to me about how your relationship isnt going well i'm trying to not be that guyDon't be into a girl in a relationship. Cause you're just about to waste 6months - 2 years of your life waiting.
And it won't be worth it.
Just move on. Or enjoy being single.
I know I probably post too much in here, but I'm going to vent. I don't want sympathy because I really don't deserve it. I learned it today. I just want to know how to fix it.
Consciously, I've really fixed myself. I'm mindful of others, I'm motivated, I'm a hard worker who doesn't give up on their friends. It sounds good, right? Subconsciously, I discovered I've got the remnants of a fuckboy and its maybe the worst thing I've ever discovered about myself. So firstly, the married woman I had been talking to for a while. Initially she came onto me but I was just as bad to enable it. I was happy to have someone beautiful and strong coming onto me. I didn't know the feeling, honestly. When I tried to make things more, she pulled apart and said we can't do this anymore. But she kept hanging around, she kept touching me and I didn't stop it. Lately she's been having mental problems and has really pulled away from everyone except the absolute most closest people in her lives. Publicly she's friendly but privately she's told me that she's on the verge of suicide daily for the last month. And I can't help her. But I try to help her. As a friend. She is someone I do care strongly about and someone I just like as a person. We texted every night before she went downhill and I liked having her around. But I thought about her all the time. Subconsciously, I knew my mind kept thinking 'be nice and we'll get her. be around and we'll get her.'
Then another friend of mine that I recently started talking to more. We talk and goof like friends. She's got a boyfriend but the most we've ever done is that she's told me I'm attractive and I told her the same. Multiple times. Then she tells me the last few days she's having problems in her relationship and she's thinking about ending it. This was today. I, without even knowing it honestly, just throw myself in there like some thirsty fuckboy nice guy when she's literally in the middle of being bummed out about her relationship and I literally expose myself as a predator instead of a friend. I sent her an apology but I feel like I just destroyed any bit of trust she had in me.
And there's my other female friend that's like one of my best friends because I thought she was cute. She's been with the same guy for 8 years and I've never felt anything for her beyond my initial reasoning for talking to her which is that she's cute. Like I don't think about her that way. But what if an opportunity arose? I feel like my subconscious would literally jump at it the second it was seen and fuck everything up.
And it is me. And I'm disgusted with myself. Fixing my conscious self was easy. My ways aren't broken anymore. But my reasoning is totally fucked. I'm subhuman 4chan shit, and I honestly don't know how to fix it without involving a therapist.
Consciously, I've really fixed myself. I'm mindful of others, I'm motivated, I'm a hard worker who doesn't give up on their friends. It sounds good, right? Subconsciously, I discovered I've got the remnants of a fuckboy and its maybe the worst thing I've ever discovered about myself. So firstly, the married woman I had been talking to for a while. Initially she came onto me but I was just as bad to enable it. I was happy to have someone beautiful and strong coming onto me. I didn't know the feeling, honestly. When I tried to make things more, she pulled apart and said we can't do this anymore. But she kept hanging around, she kept touching me and I didn't stop it. Lately she's been having mental problems and has really pulled away from everyone except the absolute most closest people in her lives. Publicly she's friendly but privately she's told me that she's on the verge of suicide daily for the last month. And I can't help her. But I try to help her. As a friend. She is someone I do care strongly about and someone I just like as a person. We texted every night before she went downhill and I liked having her around. But I thought about her all the time. Subconsciously, I knew my mind kept thinking 'be nice and we'll get her. be around and we'll get her.'
Then another friend of mine that I recently started talking to more. We talk and goof like friends. She's got a boyfriend but the most we've ever done is that she's told me I'm attractive and I told her the same. Multiple times. Then she tells me the last few days she's having problems in her relationship and she's thinking about ending it. This was today. I, without even knowing it honestly, just throw myself in there like some thirsty fuckboy nice guy when she's literally in the middle of being bummed out about her relationship and I literally expose myself as a predator instead of a friend. I sent her an apology but I feel like I just destroyed any bit of trust she had in me.
And there's my other female friend that's like one of my best friends because I thought she was cute. She's been with the same guy for 8 years and I've never felt anything for her beyond my initial reasoning for talking to her which is that she's cute. Like I don't think about her that way. But what if an opportunity arose? I feel like my subconscious would literally jump at it the second it was seen and fuck everything up.
And it is me. And I'm disgusted with myself. Fixing my conscious self was easy. My ways aren't broken anymore. But my reasoning is totally fucked. I'm subhuman 4chan shit, and I honestly don't know how to fix it without involving a therapist.
Most every person, regardless of gender, goes through that stage, because you haven't learned to value your self, and that you deserve someone who's available AND into you in multiple ways.
Like almost EVERYONE has done some fuckboy stuff, as you put it. Chasing someone unavailable, hung around for a girl (particularly when everyone is in their early 20's) expecting a break up. Hitting on someone you never ever considered more than a friend until you found out they were single.
It happens.
It's easy to point out when you're on the other side. When you've done it, reflect back in a year and go "fuck i was an idiot", and know better. It's super hard to spot it when you're in it, because you're not normally thinking rationally. And you always have an excuse ready.
It's why learning to enjoy being single is HARD. But you can do it, and it's a key component to moving on.
Like almost EVERYONE has done some fuckboy stuff, as you put it. Chasing someone unavailable, hung around for a girl (particularly when everyone is in their early 20's) expecting a break up. Hitting on someone you never ever considered more than a friend until you found out they were single.
It happens.
It's easy to point out when you're on the other side. When you've done it, reflect back in a year and go "fuck i was an idiot", and know better. It's super hard to spot it when you're in it, because you're not normally thinking rationally. And you always have an excuse ready.
It's why learning to enjoy being single is HARD. But you can do it, and it's a key component to moving on.
That's some good advice, I really appreciate it. I really need to lay off social media until I can get myself in control.
i wish i knew what it was like to feel like someone was geniunely into you. cant say i've ever experienced it.
dating always feels like i'm chasing something i can never catch. fuckboy stuff as you'd call it
dating always feels like i'm chasing something i can never catch. fuckboy stuff as you'd call it
By giririsss Go To PostMost every person, regardless of gender, goes through that stage, because you haven't learned to value your self, and that you deserve someone who's available AND into you in multiple ways.yeah if that never happens you're actually much, much worse off lol
Like almost EVERYONE has done some fuckboy stuff, as you put it. Chasing someone unavailable, hung around for a girl (particularly when everyone is in their early 20's) expecting a break up. Hitting on someone you never ever considered more than a friend until you found out they were single.
It happens.
It's easy to point out when you're on the other side. When you've done it, reflect back in a year and go "fuck i was an idiot", and know better. It's super hard to spot it when you're in it, because you're not normally thinking rationally. And you always have an excuse ready.
It's why learning to enjoy being single is HARD. But you can do it, and it's a key component to moving on.
feeling like shit is the first part of fixing yourself
They're out there. You just haven't found them.
And sometimes, pursuing something entirely new will open up social circles you didn't know about and finding new people.
I met my fience` because i went back, in my 30's, to do my Masters. There i met a girl who became a really good friend. Still is. She introduced me to one of her friends months after our masters ended.
And i'd done the whole online dating thing. Going clubbing etc. (actually still enjoy clubbing and bars).
And you know the nights i had most fun, and ended up meeting more new people? When i was out with my friends, and not even trying to meet anyone, just out to have a good time. Forgot about "looking for someone". Basically, when I'd learnt to enjoy just being single, and the friends and people around me.
And sometimes, pursuing something entirely new will open up social circles you didn't know about and finding new people.
I met my fience` because i went back, in my 30's, to do my Masters. There i met a girl who became a really good friend. Still is. She introduced me to one of her friends months after our masters ended.
And i'd done the whole online dating thing. Going clubbing etc. (actually still enjoy clubbing and bars).
And you know the nights i had most fun, and ended up meeting more new people? When i was out with my friends, and not even trying to meet anyone, just out to have a good time. Forgot about "looking for someone". Basically, when I'd learnt to enjoy just being single, and the friends and people around me.
By DY_nasty Go To Postsmh here comes married gang againYeah, i hated my self as i typed half of it beause it sounded so preachy.
But it was true, too.
Everyone is different, and that's just my story.
By giririsss Go To PostAnd you know the nights i had most fun, and ended up meeting more new people? When i was out with my friends, and not even trying to meet anyone, just out to have a good time. Forgot about "looking for someone". Basically, when I'd learnt to enjoy just being single, and the friends and people around me.Unfortunately for me, making friends is as much of an alien concept as getting into a relationship.
By FortuneFaded Go To PostUnfortunately for me, making friends is as much of an alien concept as getting into a relationship.
Is this a legitimate post? I mean it seems like one but I find that oh so incredibly hard to believe, i guess because of your online persona.
By Kidjr Go To PostIs this a legitimate post? I mean it seems like one but I find that oh so incredibly hard to believe just I guess because your online persona.I think it's the age dillema. As we get older in life it seems like its harder to make friends. But everyone says that, so maybe it's more to do with the fact that when we were kids we were just less picky / put in more social situations.
By giririsss Go To PostI think it's the age dillema. As we get older in life it seems like its harder to make friends. But everyone says that, so maybe it's more to do with the fact that when we were kids we were just less picky / put in more social situations.Didn't really have friends / social situations as a child either.
By Kidjr Go To PostIs this a legitimate post? I mean it seems like one but I find that oh so incredibly hard to believe, i guess because of your online persona.You wouldn't think that if we met in person either. I mean, we wouldn't be friends but you still wouldn't think that.