By You got 14 bricks right there? Go To PostThe "one" for me probably died in a car accident or lives somewhere in Africa, lucky me.I don't think there is "the" one. I think there's plenty of people predisposed to being a good companion you just gotta search high and low and also tamper some of your expectations especially as you get older. People gonna have pasts, look more and more weathered, etc.
I've given up on finding a woman that could be my best friend.
By Random Ass Username Go To PostI don't think there is "the" one. I think there's plenty of people predisposed to being a good companion you just gotta search high and low and also tamper some of your expectations especially as you get older. People gonna have pasts, look more and more weathered, etc.
Yeah the idea of there being the one is some bullshit.
And they don’t have to be your best friend. That’s what causes people to miss good life long companionships. You just have to like them enough to have them in your life
Yeah what I should have said earlier about the cheating shit is some people are so kind of weird or introverted they're happy just to have someone around who gets that and them. Trying to establish sex or a relationship with yet another person probably just seems too difficult and overwhelming even before getting to the ethical nature of it.
By You got 14 bricks right there? Go To PostShe hates sucking YOUR dick, just wait until she uses that hall pass on someone more attractive than you and her kisses taste a lil funny
By Apollo Go To PostYou have to be honest, wear protection, and more importantly be receptive of the other person's feelings.Lots of people can't even do the bolded in an exclusive relationship with themselves or their SO. They definitely can't do enough ego purging for an open one.
By Random Ass Username Go To PostI don't think there is "the" one. I think there's plenty of people predisposed to being a good companion you just gotta search high and low and also tamper some of your expectations especially as you get older. People gonna have pasts, look more and more weathered, etc.
I agree, the "one" is silly to even think about. I'm to the point where I'd rather not deal with any of that, my own past makes me jaded towards most of the women I meet now. Even worse, most of the women I could see myself with are usually from another state or another country and are just visiting the city. Met a beautiful Ethiopian woman that checks all the boxes....except she's a flight attendant from Germany, I can't even make tri-state relationships work so that wasn't going to happen. The last 3 women I've actually been interested in and could see myself with average about 3000 miles from me
There's no the 'one' but sometimes you'll get lucky and meet someone that just seems perfect for you.
but she also has to feel the same way
and you both have to be attracted to each other
and both emotional baggages doesnt clash
and the time has to be right
but she also has to feel the same way
and you both have to be attracted to each other
and both emotional baggages doesnt clash
and the time has to be right
By Flutter Go To PostThere's no the 'one' but sometimes you'll get lucky and meet someone that just seems perfect for you.
but she also has to feel the same way
and you both have to be attracted to each other
and both emotional baggages doesnt clash
and the time has to be right
so basically i should just play the lottery instead. better odds innit.
Some places are just not a good area to look as well like if you're somewhere in which many people were married, religious and popping out kids by 25, and you're post that age looking for a partner, so many people are either already going to be taken or single parents.
I got lucky once, we were good together... very close for 5 years, but I struggle with depression at times and can become distant. So of course I grew distant, we got in an argument and she left......then this woman who said I was the love of her life called me 2 weeks later leaving a angry message about she was pregnant and she would never let see my own child. We reconciled, but the baby stopped developing at 10 weeks and everything after that fell apart just like you'd expect it. He/She would have been 2-3 months younger than my nephew, but looking back it never would have worked if she was that willing to use a child against me.
All that to say I could never date a woman with a child, ever
All that to say I could never date a woman with a child, ever
So you let one shitty person in a shitty situation ruin every person that matches the very loose stereotype that you can fit them in ?
Sounds like a great lesson was learnt.
Sounds like a great lesson was learnt.
By giririsss Go To PostSo you let one shitty person in a shitty situation ruin every person that matches the very loose stereotype that you can fit them in ?
Sounds like a great lesson was learnt.
Yes.
Every female with a child is no match for me to begin with, that has always been my position. I'd rather be alone than raise the next man's child, you go ahead play house if you want, weekend daddy will have you waking up 6am to make custom waffles the next day trying to measure up.
i say i don't have a problem dating people with kids, but nothing pisses me off more than bad parents or people that want you to hop in and be the bandaid to their home situation
usually i can date without any kind of hard feelings - but the only time i've felt resentment was when this girl felt i saw more in her son than she did. its the biggest investment you can make in this world, having kids imo. happens way too often, meeting awesome people who are shit parents
usually i can date without any kind of hard feelings - but the only time i've felt resentment was when this girl felt i saw more in her son than she did. its the biggest investment you can make in this world, having kids imo. happens way too often, meeting awesome people who are shit parents
By You got 14 bricks right there? Go To PostYes.
Every female with a child is no match for me to begin with, that has always been my position. I'd rather be alone than raise the next man's child, you go ahead play house if you want, weekend daddy will have you waking up 6am to make custom waffles the next day trying to measure up.
The situation you described in the first post literally has nothing to do with single mothers.
You let a woman, who you knew couldn't handle you at your worst;
And i'm not even taking a dig at her for that, because fuck depression. It can ruin people, ruin relationships, it's a hell of a thing, and an incredibly complex topic.
But you let her, blackmail you into getting back together, (or you blackmailed her, which, even better!) Then she miscarries, and i'm taking it at face value you definitively know she was with child, and everything falls apart because children don't fix relationships, and certainly not dead children.
And your takeaway from that situation is fuck single mothers, they aint shit?
Pretty sure you need to go back and rethink that one.
By giririsss Go To PostThe situation you described in the first post literally has nothing to do with single mothers.
You let a woman, who you knew couldn't handle you at your worst;
And i'm not even taking a dig at her for that, because fuck depression. It can ruin people, ruin relationships, it's a hell of a thing, and an incredibly complex topic.
But you let her, blackmail you into getting back together, (or you blackmailed her, which, even better!) Then she miscarries, and i'm taking it at face value you definitively know she was with child, and everything falls apart because children don't fix relationships, and certainly not dead children.
And your takeaway from that situation is fuck single mothers, they aint shit?
No, the situation I described was more to talk about why I don't believe in the "one", since that woman often said we were soulmates.
I just tacked on the part about kids because Random Ass Username mentioned how there are places where people are under 25 with kids and divorced just 1 reply before mine. You feel some type of way and just wanna argue, I don't date women with kids and that was BEFORE that shit I described happened to me.
Dealing with a step child is complicated as shit and if people want to avoid that whole mess I'd prefer they do that instead of being a shithead or another absentee adult to a kid. Then there's the whole sometimes you're a better parent than the kid's real mom or dad but the relationship doesn't work out and that whole heap of guilt and separation happens cause the kid isn't coming with you ever, you're not their legal guardian. I don't want to guilt anyone about wanting to avoid that mess.
It's more about swearing off all single mothers over that incident.
I feel for someone who is asking me if I have 14 bricks about the situation tho.
I feel for someone who is asking me if I have 14 bricks about the situation tho.
Kind of dick move to throw all that shade and drag a dude who lost his kid in utero like that and how he's sidelined himself from dealing with some shit. If someone doesn't want to be a step-parent they shouldn't even need to tell anyone why. People been through all kinds of shit, they don't have to justify to me why they don't want to fuck with extra baggage or baggage that looks too much like their own.
By Flutter Go To PostIt's more about swearing off all single mothers over that incident.
I feel for someone who is asking me if I have 14 bricks about the situation tho.
I swore off single mothers when I was 19 long before anything ever happened to me. I didn't feel like quoting Random and whoever said you have to be lucky to find someone compatible.
Me not wanting to date single mothers is because I'm selfish. I want my child to be her first child, and I don't want to have to share parent duties with some dude who comes around or pick up the pieces when they don't come around, while I'm seen as "not my daddy". If the man who does that is viewed as a better person, I'm fine with that and wont knock them, it's not for me.
By Flutter Go To PostIt's more about swearing off all single mothers over that incident.it was about the soulmate thing that people were talking about before - which is dumb and something stupid that people lock themselves into
I feel for someone who is asking me if I have 14 bricks about the situation tho.
and there's being open about certain things which is cool but kids? if that's a no in your book then it should stay a no. parent trap is cute throwback movie not a common learning experience imo. work that one out before you're invested... goes way beyond just dates and break ups
The soulmate thing is indeed dumb. Especially if you transfixed yourself so much on that idea.
I have a friend, who's now 34 and still a virgin. There's nothing wrong with him, having taken Tae Kwon Do since he was a kid made him athletic and girls think he's cute.
Yet he fell for a girl during our college years and spent a decade pining for her. We tried to advise him to go around dating but you know how people are. Being the weeb he is he fell for a Japanese girl he saw at a cafe around 2 years ago. To his credit he actually mustered up the confidence to ask for her number but that went nowhere since she had to go back to Japan.
Last I heard that was his last effort.
I have a friend, who's now 34 and still a virgin. There's nothing wrong with him, having taken Tae Kwon Do since he was a kid made him athletic and girls think he's cute.
Yet he fell for a girl during our college years and spent a decade pining for her. We tried to advise him to go around dating but you know how people are. Being the weeb he is he fell for a Japanese girl he saw at a cafe around 2 years ago. To his credit he actually mustered up the confidence to ask for her number but that went nowhere since she had to go back to Japan.
Last I heard that was his last effort.
What's Slayven's deal?
At least he has a legion of forum posters venerating the ground beneath his feet.
At least he has a legion of forum posters venerating the ground beneath his feet.
By You got 14 bricks right there? Go To PostI swore off single mothers when I was 19 long before anything ever happened to me. I didn't feel like quoting Random and whoever said you have to be lucky to find someone compatible.I respect this... it takes a special person to be a step-father for real
Me not wanting to date single mothers is because I'm selfish. I want my child to be her first child, and I don't want to have to share parent duties with some dude who comes around or pick up the pieces when they don't come around, while I'm seen as "not my daddy". If the man who does that is viewed as a better person, I'm fine with that and wont knock them, it's not for me.
By You got 14 bricks right there? Go To PostI swore off single mothers when I was 19 long before anything ever happened to me. I didn't feel like quoting Random and whoever said you have to be lucky to find someone compatible.
Me not wanting to date single mothers is because I'm selfish. I want my child to be her first child, and I don't want to have to share parent duties with some dude who comes around or pick up the pieces when they don't come around, while I'm seen as "not my daddy". If the man who does that is viewed as a better person, I'm fine with that and wont knock them, it's not for me.
real af, and i see no problem with this.
By blackace Go To PostI respect this… it takes a special person to be a step-father for real
my best friend married a woman who already had 2 sons. i am constantly amazed at how he handled everything, even years later.
By You got 14 bricks right there? Go To PostI got lucky once, we were good together… very close for 5 years, but I struggle with depression at times and can become distant. So of course I grew distant, we got in an argument and she left……then this woman who said I was the love of her life called me 2 weeks later leaving a angry message about she was pregnant and she would never let see my own child. We reconciled, but the baby stopped developing at 10 weeks and everything after that fell apart just like you'd expect it. He/She would have been 2-3 months younger than my nephew, but looking back it never would have worked if she was that willing to use a child against me.😭
All that to say I could never date a woman with a child, ever
By rerixo Go To Posti reckon i have about 10 million soul mates3 week mates maybe
Kids are rough until about the 2 -2.5 yr stage. Then they start having a personality, can have a convo, and say shit that make you feel soft af inside when you had a piss poor day
By DY_nasty Go To PostSlayven is at least 53
Did you see when he tried to act like he was in his 20s?
By Random Ass Username Go To PostKind of dick move to throw all that shade and drag a dude who lost his kid in utero like that and how he's sidelined himself from dealing with some shit. If someone doesn't want to be a step-parent they shouldn't even need to tell anyone why. People been through all kinds of shit, they don't have to justify to me why they don't want to fuck with extra baggage or baggage that looks too much like their own.All of this.
Like damn, show some tact, brehs
I don't have to explain but my ex and I were together 5 years, knew each other for 7 years, and the relationship effectively ended when she had to move back to California for work and I couldn't move out there because of my job, so our relationship for almost 2 years was facetiming, texts, calls and weekend visits every other month. Depression for me isn't internally self destructive / self loathing, I just become distant & withdrawn to people that aren't my family. I don't drink or medicate, so I just gotta hold that L until it stops but by then it usually washes away a few friendships or destroys a relationship when the tide goes back out. In her case, she knew that was a character flaw of mine but she had never experienced it cause she was always around, until she wasn't around.
She didn't "blackmail" me into staying with her, we would have gotten back together whether she was pregnant or not cause I loved her, she loved me and we were best friends, I said we reconciled but I didn't say it was just because she was pregnant. The damage to the relationship was already done when she boarded the plane and I couldn't move out there, but we tried because why throw away that many years? We had always talked about kids together, so on one hand I was surprised she would use pregnancy as a weapon like that, but on the other hand I was happy that I'd be a father. I wasn't going to let her be a single mother to our child, and I wasn't going to let the next man raise my kid, if I'm not into single mothers why would I be ok with allowing a woman I love to become one? Not another little brown boy/girl statistic.
Our arguments were over how short I was with answers, quiet etc, and my problems with her were how negative she was and how she never took advice and just kept doing the same thing while asking for advice she wouldn't use. The country distance between us and my shitty ability to push people away is what led to the end as we stopped calling each other & seeing each other as frequently. I could have been more understanding but I don't always put my words together well as seen by my post above. The last time I flew out there it was all good, but when she came out here a few weeks later all we did was argue, and she left 3 days early saying we were done. I didn't contact her at all for those 2 weeks cause I assumed we were done, then she left the message. We got back together, saw one another more frequently but it was different for both of us, tried to make it work but the distance killed it and the spark we had was gone and once she wasn't pregnant it was too painful to keep up.
So, I lost my best friend of 7 years, who said I was her soulmate more times than I can count. So yeah I can come off as jaded but I'm not on some bitter shit or incel loser shit. I wish her the best, haven't spoken to her since 2014, I hope she's with someone better and has everything I couldn't give her. I shoot myself in the foot a lot, that flight attendant gives me such a good feeling and we went on a few dates but I don't want to put her through the same shit cause I know eventually I'll end up just growing distant to her, told her to see other people even though I don't have anyone else lined up.
TLDR - Some people are meant to be alone...and on the other subject even though I won't date a single mother, I'd actually adopt a kid if I had the chance and a family to bring them into.
She didn't "blackmail" me into staying with her, we would have gotten back together whether she was pregnant or not cause I loved her, she loved me and we were best friends, I said we reconciled but I didn't say it was just because she was pregnant. The damage to the relationship was already done when she boarded the plane and I couldn't move out there, but we tried because why throw away that many years? We had always talked about kids together, so on one hand I was surprised she would use pregnancy as a weapon like that, but on the other hand I was happy that I'd be a father. I wasn't going to let her be a single mother to our child, and I wasn't going to let the next man raise my kid, if I'm not into single mothers why would I be ok with allowing a woman I love to become one? Not another little brown boy/girl statistic.
Our arguments were over how short I was with answers, quiet etc, and my problems with her were how negative she was and how she never took advice and just kept doing the same thing while asking for advice she wouldn't use. The country distance between us and my shitty ability to push people away is what led to the end as we stopped calling each other & seeing each other as frequently. I could have been more understanding but I don't always put my words together well as seen by my post above. The last time I flew out there it was all good, but when she came out here a few weeks later all we did was argue, and she left 3 days early saying we were done. I didn't contact her at all for those 2 weeks cause I assumed we were done, then she left the message. We got back together, saw one another more frequently but it was different for both of us, tried to make it work but the distance killed it and the spark we had was gone and once she wasn't pregnant it was too painful to keep up.
So, I lost my best friend of 7 years, who said I was her soulmate more times than I can count. So yeah I can come off as jaded but I'm not on some bitter shit or incel loser shit. I wish her the best, haven't spoken to her since 2014, I hope she's with someone better and has everything I couldn't give her. I shoot myself in the foot a lot, that flight attendant gives me such a good feeling and we went on a few dates but I don't want to put her through the same shit cause I know eventually I'll end up just growing distant to her, told her to see other people even though I don't have anyone else lined up.
TLDR - Some people are meant to be alone...and on the other subject even though I won't date a single mother, I'd actually adopt a kid if I had the chance and a family to bring them into.
https://www.wusa9.com/article/news/howard-ranked-as-one-of-the-fastest-growing-sugar-baby-schools/65-d0f1b191-7b06-4660-a489-7d6626aae355
people thought i was making this shit up lmao
people thought i was making this shit up lmao
just gonna call this more 'economic anxiety'
By domino Go To Postgonna keep coming back to this lol....
By You got 14 bricks right there? Go To PostI don't have to explain but my ex and I were together 5 years, knew each other for 7 years, and the relationship effectively ended when she had to move back to California for work and I couldn't move out there because of my job, so our relationship for almost 2 years was facetiming, texts, calls and weekend visits every other month. Depression for me isn't internally self destructive / self loathing, I just become distant & withdrawn to people that aren't my family. I don't drink or medicate, so I just gotta hold that L until it stops but by then it usually washes away a few friendships or destroys a relationship when the tide goes back out. In her case, she knew that was a character flaw of mine but she had never experienced it cause she was always around, until she wasn't around.
She didn't "blackmail" me into staying with her, we would have gotten back together whether she was pregnant or not cause I loved her, she loved me and we were best friends, I said we reconciled but I didn't say it was just because she was pregnant. The damage to the relationship was already done when she boarded the plane and I couldn't move out there, but we tried because why throw away that many years? We had always talked about kids together, so on one hand I was surprised she would use pregnancy as a weapon like that, but on the other hand I was happy that I'd be a father. I wasn't going to let her be a single mother to our child, and I wasn't going to let the next man raise my kid, if I'm not into single mothers why would I be ok with allowing a woman I love to become one? Not another little brown boy/girl statistic.
Our arguments were over how short I was with answers, quiet etc, and my problems with her were how negative she was and how she never took advice and just kept doing the same thing while asking for advice she wouldn't use. The country distance between us and my shitty ability to push people away is what led to the end as we stopped calling each other & seeing each other as frequently. I could have been more understanding but I don't always put my words together well as seen by my post above. The last time I flew out there it was all good, but when she came out here a few weeks later all we did was argue, and she left 3 days early saying we were done. I didn't contact her at all for those 2 weeks cause I assumed we were done, then she left the message. We got back together, saw one another more frequently but it was different for both of us, tried to make it work but the distance killed it and the spark we had was gone and once she wasn't pregnant it was too painful to keep up.
So, I lost my best friend of 7 years, who said I was her soulmate more times than I can count. So yeah I can come off as jaded but I'm not on some bitter shit or incel loser shit. I wish her the best, haven't spoken to her since 2014, I hope she's with someone better and has everything I couldn't give her. I shoot myself in the foot a lot, that flight attendant gives me such a good feeling and we went on a few dates but I don't want to put her through the same shit cause I know eventually I'll end up just growing distant to her, told her to see other people even though I don't have anyone else lined up.
TLDR - Some people are meant to be alone…and on the other subject even though I won't date a single mother, I'd actually adopt a kid if I had the chance and a family to bring them into.
Thanks for sharing. Doesn't sound like it was a good situation.
Sounds like you want to have kids and be in a healthy relationship, so if you really feel you growing distant is gonna be a hurdle for any relationship then try and speak to someone about it.
Again, thanks for sharing and your honesty. I hope all works out for you eventually on the dating front.
https://www.resetera.com/threads/you-are-given-20mil-usd-on-the-account-of-remaining-single-forever-do-you-take-it.105259/
the amount of "i've never been romantically involved with another person despite wanting it" within the first 3 pages alone are quite stunning
the amount of "i've never been romantically involved with another person despite wanting it" within the first 3 pages alone are quite stunning
By You got 14 bricks right there? Go To PostTLDR - Some people are meant to be alone…and on the other subject even though I won't date a single mother, I'd actually adopt a kid if I had the chance and a family to bring them into.
seems like you only got distant once it became a long distance relationship though? Meaning shouldn't you try again with someone local?
By Dark PhaZe Go To Posthttps://www.resetera.com/threads/you-are-given-20mil-usd-on-the-account-of-remaining-single-forever-do-you-take-it.105259/
the amount of "i've never been romantically involved with another person despite wanting it" within the first 3 pages alone are quite stunning
i'd take that deal. hell at this moment i might do it for 2 mil
dating feels more like work than fun for me.
By Dark PhaZe Go To Posthttps://www.resetera.com/threads/you-are-given-20mil-usd-on-the-account-of-remaining-single-forever-do-you-take-it.105259/Is it tho
the amount of "i've never been romantically involved with another person despite wanting it" within the first 3 pages alone are quite stunning