Football Thread 2017 | October | It has been an Odyssey

Mbappe is sensational.

OH HEY WE DIDNT LOSE BY 10

WHAT A TIME

By SUPER YARAK Go To PostAt least you're not in danger of having your arsehole surgically removed like Woodenlung.

What's going on with him anyway?

By NinjaFridge Go To PostWhat's going on with him anyway?

Extreme itching got me to go to the doctor (it had kept me up for days, without any sleep at all). He noticed yellow eyes and took blood tests. Liver infection numbers through the fucking roof. To the hospital for a weeks time where my numbers started going down, got a liver biopsy... But still can't find the cause for my liver suddenly acting up (and as a result, my gall bladder as well). Bunch of scans for cancer as well but nothing.

Biopsy suggested auto immune disease, but seeing as my numbers improved by themselves and there being no real bad permanent damage to my liver, they highly doubt it's that now. So basically they have no fucking clue. They don't know what causes this kind of itch either when it comes to liver trouble, so got a bunch of different stuff, first things didn't work on me and destroyed my ass... Like shitting blood. But the tuberculosis medicine that also works on around half the patients is working for me. So on that.

Still yellow like a fucking Simpsons character, but it's also going down (however very slowly... Which is normal), and feeling a lot better. Except my asshole is like one giant open wound.

Today I had a huge tube up my ass on a checkup... It wasn't a nice experience. But confirmed it's just a trouble with my actual asshole.

But yeah, been sick off work for 40 days at this point, and can barely even play a game or watch a movie at home without constantly being distracted. Has gotten better the last weeks time though.

Also on phenobarbital just to relax my body a bit at night, as I am getting little to no sleep. But that has also gotten better (after st first not actually sleeping for several days due to extreme itching).

So.. Hope you all enjoyed reading my journal. Been quite a ride... And been so fucking scared of cancer, which luckily it seems like it isn't. Like 100 tests all came out negative though, so they now think it's a random infection/virus from... Something.

Sounds like your asshole misses Slaent tbh

I've barely been able to shit post on whatapp. That has been my energy levels. Slaent on top is too much.

Assholes require company m8, when they're alone they act in self destructive ways. That, coupled with DEP nearing their end, it was too much for your poor arse.

I hope you get better soon, man. That sounds like a living nightmare. Wish you all the best.

Joking aside, get well soon.

By n8 dogg Go To PostConte


too bad you let so many players go this season right

In fairness to him he's only the coach and technically not the manager. I don't know how much power he has in terms of players coming in and out but I doubt it's significant.

That sounds awful, Wooden. Get well.

Get well soon, wooden.

Damn, feel better wooden.

Fecal matter transplant in the offing wooden?

get better wooden, you and me in purgatory forever.

feet all wrapped up, probably best to start binge watching shows

Thanks m8s. I'm already feeling a lot better... Except that damn asshole that I feel like they ruined forever, not just with meds but also sticking their fingers and other fun imaginative things into, like a tube camera.

By NinjaFridge Go To PostAssholes require company m8, when they're alone they act in self destructive ways. That, coupled with DEP nearing their end, it was too much for your poor arse.

The two last DEP shows in Europe were truly the end of me. Absolute chaos in both Cologne and Leipzig that ended up with most people on stage.


Some guy cracked open his head properly at the Cologne show, falling of the stage into some stuff. He seemed like he loved it still though.

By W Go To PostExtreme itching got me to go to the doctor (it had kept me up for days, without any sleep at all). He noticed yellow eyes and took blood tests. Liver infection numbers through the fucking roof. To the hospital for a weeks time where my numbers started going down, got a liver biopsy… But still can't find the cause for my liver suddenly acting up (and as a result, my gall bladder as well). Bunch of scans for cancer as well but nothing.

Biopsy suggested auto immune disease, but seeing as my numbers improved by themselves and there being no real bad permanent damage to my liver, they highly doubt it's that now. So basically they have no fucking clue. They don't know what causes this kind of itch either when it comes to liver trouble, so got a bunch of different stuff, first things didn't work on me and destroyed my ass… Like shitting blood. But the tuberculosis medicine that also works on around half the patients is working for me. So on that.

Still yellow like a fucking Simpsons character, but it's also going down (however very slowly… Which is normal), and feeling a lot better. Except my asshole is like one giant open wound.

Today I had a huge tube up my ass on a checkup… It wasn't a nice experience. But confirmed it's just a trouble with my actual asshole.

But yeah, been sick off work for 40 days at this point, and can barely even play a game or watch a movie at home without constantly being distracted. Has gotten better the last weeks time though.

Also on phenobarbital just to relax my body a bit at night, as I am getting little to no sleep. But that has also gotten better (after st first not actually sleeping for several days due to extreme itching).

So.. Hope you all enjoyed reading my journal. Been quite a ride… And been so fucking scared of cancer, which luckily it seems like it isn't. Like 100 tests all came out negative though, so they now think it's a random infection/virus from… Something.

You can leave Cebu but Cebu will never leave you.

Hope they find the problem and it's treatable m8

By W Go To PostThanks m8s. I'm already feeling a lot better… Except that damn asshole that I feel like they ruined forever, not just with meds but also sticking their fingers and other fun imaginative things into, like a tube camera.

With or without any Riget experience at your Copenhagen hospital it sounds like a nightmare.

please tell me you saw some dead babies screaming?

Get well soon Wooden.

Damn Wooden that sounds positively awful. Glad that you’re starting to improve though.

We should have won 5-0 today. What a team
Jupp is the true GOAT

good luck emil

Oh my god, the Chief Scout of USMNT has an incredible opinion of Messi

Emil that's fucking terrible, man. Hope you feel less shitty soon

By Wengward Go To Post

https://twitter.com/alexbaggallay/status/920589578146320384

fuck all of em

I would be worried if I were the lower clubs. I bet they were talking about trying to give themselves more money from the foreign tv deals. Although, I don't know what the big clubs can do other than threaten to break away.

Have any #softlads checked out the All Guns Blazing podcast?

Sorry to hear all that Wooden. Hope things get better soon and there is no permanent damage.

get well soon wooden bro, try not to google your symptoms too much since that causes more anxiety

By Mister0079 Go To Postget well soon wooden bro, try not to google your symptoms too much since that causes more anxiety

And don't watch Eduardo injury on YT like me.

Sounds positively ghastly, here's to a quick recovery, W.

Good luck with your bum W

Damn Wooden. Get well soon.

All the best, Wooden's asshole.

By OneTwoTee Go To PostAll the best, Wooden's asshole.

what about asshole Wooden?

I've been putting Chia Seeds in my oats for the past couple of days.
God it's so fucking nasty

By W Go To PostExtreme itching got me to go to the doctor (it had kept me up for days, without any sleep at all). He noticed yellow eyes and took blood tests. Liver infection numbers through the fucking roof. To the hospital for a weeks time where my numbers started going down, got a liver biopsy… But still can't find the cause for my liver suddenly acting up (and as a result, my gall bladder as well). Bunch of scans for cancer as well but nothing.

Biopsy suggested auto immune disease, but seeing as my numbers improved by themselves and there being no real bad permanent damage to my liver, they highly doubt it's that now. So basically they have no fucking clue. They don't know what causes this kind of itch either when it comes to liver trouble, so got a bunch of different stuff, first things didn't work on me and destroyed my ass… Like shitting blood. But the tuberculosis medicine that also works on around half the patients is working for me. So on that.

Still yellow like a fucking Simpsons character, but it's also going down (however very slowly… Which is normal), and feeling a lot better. Except my asshole is like one giant open wound.

Today I had a huge tube up my ass on a checkup… It wasn't a nice experience. But confirmed it's just a trouble with my actual asshole.

But yeah, been sick off work for 40 days at this point, and can barely even play a game or watch a movie at home without constantly being distracted. Has gotten better the last weeks time though.

Also on phenobarbital just to relax my body a bit at night, as I am getting little to no sleep. But that has also gotten better (after st first not actually sleeping for several days due to extreme itching).

So.. Hope you all enjoyed reading my journal. Been quite a ride… And been so fucking scared of cancer, which luckily it seems like it isn't. Like 100 tests all came out negative though, so they now think it's a random infection/virus from… Something.

Get well soon Emil. Sounds grim but glad to hear things are looking better and it isn't anything even more serious.

And you lot haven't even seen the pictures of his grotty arsehole.

Our bitch-ass manager decided to drop Iker cold. Fuckboi.

Sack him I don’t give a fuck. Another waste of time.

The thumbnail was enough

snap get better wooden

WoodenAss will beat the anal disease.

Get well Wooden's ass.

By n8 dogg Go To PostAnd you lot haven't even seen the pictures of his grotty arsehole.

Like a real-life Hellstar Remina.

By SUPER YARAK Go To PostLike a real-life Hellstar Remina.

:lol

By n8 dogg Go To PostAnd you lot haven't even seen the pictures of his grotty arsehole.

I'm kinda glad I didn't.

Get well soon Woodbury.
Don't become a second Kofoo. I'll pray for your asshole.

1. Wooden's Arsehole.
2. Batong's Ankle
3. Noal's Knee

Anyone else?

4. Elsk's brain
5. Dean's brain
6. Suen's brain

The police are currently conducting searches to Benfica's stadium and the private houses of their president and a few other houses of people connected to the club.
This is in relation to the e-mail scandal in which a commentator for Porto's channel has received copies of e-mails that imply there are suspicious talks between people connected to Benfica and people connected to the Referees Association.

By noal Go To Post1. Wooden's Arsehole.
2. Batong's Ankle
3. Noal's Knee

Anyone else?

I've got bursitis in both ankles and tendinitis in my right knee 👌👌👌

So many of you will struggle to survive the winter.