What's the hardest part of adulthood?

So far, it's just getting through the week having more money at the end of it than what's coming out. I knew I should have saved my student loan and not frittered it away on kebabs and jagerbombs.

The hardest part of adulthood is finding yourself and recovering from losses. There are transitions that occur between the start and end of college years (the 18-25 age range) and life from then on. Those transitions are usually the point where people find themselves in some capacity. For me the hardest part of life is finding yourself and recovering from losses aka getting humbled. This world teaches are some harsh lessons and those lessons make us into who we are.

All valid points here so far.

For me is figuring out my own self-worth and unfortunately tying it to other people's perception of me. That includes from the tribulations in dating, dealing with upper management at my job, and managing my own goals and ambitions.

So far it's being single past 30.

For me its about surviving in a system that is actively working against you. Learning to accept that sometimes happiness are just moments of small intermittent breaks between the grind and drudge of real life's treadmill of stomach bugs, anxiety, self doubt and ennuis.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting hardships as a pathway to peace. Taking as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is. Not as I would have it.

Trusting that you will do all things right if I surrender to your will. So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with you forever in the next."

What's amazing about that prayer is that it has such practical application rather you believe in God or not. I was originally going to say something like "Coming to terms with the fact that some people hate and are angry because that those are only feelings that they were raised to know," but then that is something that I cannot change (employees at my job, for example).

Many people have already mentioned that there will be hardship in life.

Such a beautiful prayer that so many people recite so flippantly, myself included.

One of the many things about adulthood, is coming to terms with ourselves. Some of us have been so damaged, hur, or betrayed in many ways. And we are at constant, deep search to be happy. Pursuit of happiness...Anyone?.... Anywho, we come to terms about how time can be so precious. Especially because there is some thought, and fear or actually not accomplishing "something" or becoming "someone". So we put so much responsibility, and weight on ourselves. We think about how much we want to do, and give to the ones we care for and love. Yet, we want to be someone respectable, and someone that takes pride of soul itself. Stability at 360.

The harsh realization that a lot of the people with the best ideas really don't get ahead and just become bitter.

By dbThe harsh realization that a lot of the people with the best ideas really don't get ahead and just become bitter.

Yes indeed, I absolutely agree :)

Letting go of your craziest dreams like being an astronaut or an aloof billionaire who fights crime at night

watching the adults who raised you get older and eventually die

I don't know why I always thought getting older was fun.

Just seeing my life unfold is just nerve-racking at times. Just got to keep my composure.

By Zeus Ex MachinaLetting go of your craziest dreams like being an astronaut or an aloof billionaire who fights crime at night

watching the adults who raised you get older and eventually die

pssh i'll see you on mars, chump

just moving forward on multiple levels and seeing folks that hit the wall*
- personally/life goals: i didn't imagine post-grad would be this difficult. i really feel like my life has been on hold for 2 years.
- romantically: ...yeah not really getting my hopes up there.
- professionally/financially: so many false starts recently but this is the one area i'm least worried about actually. it's going to take time but i know i'll nail it once i get the opportunity.
- mentally/emotionally: i'm getting better at this one but i'm disappointed in how easily shaken i can be sometimes. its kind of weird that i had more confidence in myself when i was a kid than i do now. but i really didn't know any better

* pretty much every person over 32 at my job is just hopeless. it's so sad to talk to them about their lives and know that they used to be bright, young and hopeful too.

I am getting near 40 and seeing that I don't have much in way of retirement is scaring me fairly well at this point.. lol

The fact that my genetics ain't shit. There's pretty much a 5% chance I don't get Cancer by my early 50s - alongside heart disease, diabetes, depression, high blood pressure, hyper tension and alcoholism. I'm straight up fucked. Oldest person I can think of on either side was lucky to reach their 60s. My family didn't get the memo that life expectancy is supposed to increase with each passing generation. Our asses are stuck in the 18th century.

By DY_nasty

By Zeus Ex MachinaLetting go of your craziest dreams like being an astronaut or an aloof billionaire who fights crime at night

watching the adults who raised you get older and eventually die

pssh i'll see you on mars, chump

lol.

I have not given up hope that I can get paid to write about video games. Doing it for "free" right now (I can get whatever game I want right now on demand...looking forward to GTA V and Witcher 3 for free), but writing on games to pay my bills is still a pipe dream.

Man, you guys need some HOPE in your lives. Adulthood isn't THAT bad.

Also if we had a one word challenge: Bills.

Watch your money float away...

By dbAlso if we had a one word challenge: Bills.

Watch your money float away…

Bills are not bad. Bills will happen because you actually want to live a quality life.

DEBT is what sucks.

By Zero ToleranceMan, you guys need some HOPE in your lives. Adulthood isn't THAT bad.

Of course.

I mean I've definitely made a shit ton of mistakes in my life, but never thought a day in my life I would ever go broke or struggle...said that to myself for years.

Then the game changed, just taking it day by day now.

Avoiding apathy and despair. The universe is garbage.

Learning how to channel all of this inner anger, desperation, woe-is-me attitude and any perceived slights into something positive.

By reiloLearning how to channel all of this inner anger, desperation, woe-is-me attitude and any perceived slights into something positive.

Develop an awesome CMS for me.

Okay.

Life is telling me to settle and I can't. lol

By DY_nastyLife is telling me to settle and I can't. lol

My mom is telling me to settle and I laugh.

By reilo

By DY_nastyLife is telling me to settle and I can't. lol

My mom is telling me to settle and I laugh.

You'd think getting hit by a truck would make me get a degree in business or something man... all it did was make me plan out my wild dreams instead of winging everything like a douchebag anime lead

Honestly I'm envious you're doing it and wish I could do the same.

By reiloHonestly I'm envious you're doing it and wish I could do the same.

don't think for a second that this is easy

i've missed my sister's acceptance into college, my grandmother's marriage (never been more happy to know that someone is tying the know, she deserves to be happy for raising 4 grown ass kids), a girl i should've married, couple grand, etc

i just don't bitch about it because... hell, its what i wanted lol

still, i can say that not settling is what got me halfway across the world and in position to go to school for something i'd love to do and feel confident in at the same time. i've taken a LOT of Ls on the way though. one day we can do an AMA_DY and use the kickstart money put up a dap/rap system

And still envious.

Here's another contribution:

not having friends (besides my wife).

Undergrad was awesome. All of my important friends from HS still hung when I was in college. But then I got married entering into my senior year and lived on campus, but in a special area specific to married couples that was inconvenient for all other students to access. We drifted like marriage was contagious or something. Same thing happened to my wife. Her college buddies didn't want anything to do with her after she tied the knot.

Then I moved 1000 miles from everything I knew for 20+ years to Michigan. My colleagues at MSU would always invite me for drinks after classes, but I had to go home to the wife and kids. On the flipside, all the dads at church didn't have (make) time to hang out. Doesn't help that none of them are gamers. A few of them are into sports, which is good for conversation after service, but when it comes to meeting up, it is almost always under the pretense of a playdate for the kids, never a "guy's night out" or anything because we ain't got time for that. If we do, it's a date with our wives to get away from the house/kids, not to be alone. I've offered to pick people up from their house just to shoot some pool, hang out, whatevs. It's always me trying to initiate. That's exhausting.

Being alienated from my family (dad) doesn't help. And my bro...I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about him telling my dad about what I said on FB. Mom calls but she never talks about anything substantial.

It...really is excruciating being on here...message boards I general. They tend to be communities that are more than just a bunch of strangers. Seeing the camaraderie and such makes me angry...like misanthropic, because I've joined and legit participated on NINE message boards of various sizes over the years (mostly medium to small so it was always possible to know everyone who participated) and never seem to fit in. At the same time, this is practically all I have in terms of adult interaction outside of my house.

By Zero Tolerance

By DY_nasty

By Zeus Ex MachinaLetting go of your craziest dreams like being an astronaut or an aloof billionaire who fights crime at night

watching the adults who raised you get older and eventually die

pssh i'll see you on mars, chump

lol

Man, you guys need some HOPE in your lives. Adulthood isn't THAT bad.

I do have hopes they just became twisted by Adulthood. Like I hope to make a 6 figure salary at some point before I die. I hope I can squirrel away some decent money before retirement (roth IRA's are soooo cool) and I hope I can maybe even retire a few years early so I can enjoy that shit. This is what life has taught me is the adult equivalent of wanting to fly to the moon in a bat shaped rocketship.

Also as for your problem making new friends, have you tried calling some of your old college buddies. One of my best friends moved across country to Texas with his wife (and is living the dream of annually maxing out his Roth IRA...) and he calls me and the rest of the college drinking buddies a few hours every couple of weeks. In like 2 hours we catch up and its almost like talking face to face. He also picked up stuff like hunting and fishing with some co workers because its something guys in Texas do apparently to bond.

I gotta constantly remind myself of all the shit I went through as well. Someone once told me that if you see the world the same way you did 2 years ago, 5 years ago, 10 years ago then you haven't been living.

I've probably had it "all figured out" more times than I can count too. Not that I regret think that way either. That confidence in my decisions has probably got me through more shit than anything else. Just knowing that I've given full commitment to things that I've chosen to do has taken all the other burdens off. Its crazy how much you can do when you're not worried about half-stepping. Crazy how much you don't feel bad about certain things if they don't work out too...

By blackaceI am getting near 40 and seeing that I don't have much in way of retirement is scaring me fairly well at this point.. lol

And here I am at 24 worried about being late to saving for retirement lol. If I was in a strong financial position I would love to be able to just dump money into retirement. Otherwise I'm trying to figure out a way to make it feasible now.

The hardest part of adulthood?

There's no one single hard part. It's balancing all the above. Running that balancing act is hard.

I've lived the job, made massive salaries. You miss friends, you miss chunks of life, your social/personal life becomes an after thought.

I'm AT uni, and the hardest part about this is self motivation and poverty. But the upside is I'm meeting tons of new people, and have time to see friends/family multiple times a week.

Find the balance between everything listed is the hardest part.

By reiloFor me is figuring out my own self-worth and unfortunately tying it to other people's perception of me. That includes from the tribulations in dating, dealing with upper management at my job, and managing my own goals and ambitions.

Reminds me of myself. I recently realized that I've been trying to live up to standards of perfection that are impossible, so when I inevitably fall short it puts me in a seriously dark place and I just withdraw from the world.

I've been living my life to fit what I imagine the world/my parents/my friends expects of me, and it's resulted in student debt, an aimless career, and an alcohol habit.

Things are looking much brighter recently though. I'm finally moving toward a career I actually believe in, I cut out the drinking and I finally feel some sense of peace again.

To me, that's the toughest part of being an adult: figuring out how to live on your own terms and being ok with that--i.e. not giving a fuck what others think.

Easily money. There's no end to the number of things you *should* be doing with it if you're a *responsible* person. Mortgages, taxes, retirement savings, kids' education funds, car(s), 4 different kinds of insurance, charitable donations, home maintenance, vacation so your woman doesn't hate you, dental costs, optical costs, what, you haven't bought new winter tires? You have to do that after 5 years no matter what, etc. etc.

And I don't even have a house or kids.

The second one is time. Responsibilities suck it right out of you. You come to the point where you have to make hard choices. Am I going to read for pleasure, or keep up with what's on TV? I can't do both. Am I going to become a better keyboard player, or be a gamer? I can't do both. How much of a workout routine can I realistically maintain? etc. etc.

By livefromkyotoEasily money. There's no end to the number of things you *should* be doing with it if you're a *responsible* person. Mortgages, taxes, retirement savings, kids' education funds, car(s), 4 different kinds of insurance, charitable donations, home maintenance, vacation so your woman doesn't hate you, dental costs, optical costs, what, you haven't bought new winter tires? You have to do that after 5 years no matter what, etc. etc.

And I don't even have a house or kids.

The second one is time. Responsibilities suck it right out of you. You come to the point where you have to make hard choices. Am I going to read for pleasure, or keep up with what's on TV? I can't do both. Am I going to become a better keyboard player, or be a gamer? I can't do both. How much of a workout routine can I realistically maintain? etc. etc.

For me lately it's trying to update myself on the latest stuff involving my major since I let it slip for a while. It's very time consuming and so many people out there can probably do it better, feel like I should focus more on a niche part of it.

What holds me back from the freelance thing is people basically not paying and I don't want to strong arm which is what it honestly takes.

By db

By livefromkyotoEasily money. There's no end to the number of things you *should* be doing with it if you're a *responsible* person. Mortgages, taxes, retirement savings, kids' education funds, car(s), 4 different kinds of insurance, charitable donations, home maintenance, vacation so your woman doesn't hate you, dental costs, optical costs, what, you haven't bought new winter tires? You have to do that after 5 years no matter what, etc. etc.

And I don't even have a house or kids.

The second one is time. Responsibilities suck it right out of you. You come to the point where you have to make hard choices. Am I going to read for pleasure, or keep up with what's on TV? I can't do both. Am I going to become a better keyboard player, or be a gamer? I can't do both. How much of a workout routine can I realistically maintain? etc. etc.

For me lately it's trying to update myself on the latest stuff involving my major since I let it slip for a while. It's very time consuming and so many people out there can probably do it better, feel like I should focus more on a niche part of it.

What holds me back from the freelance thing is people basically not paying and I don't want to strong arm which is what it honestly takes.

So don't take on the debt collection your self.

In AU there are very defined rules about it. Basically if you don't pay after your 2nd or 3rd notice, and a warning that it's going to collections, it can be sent to a debt collector.

Once there, it goes on your record. Which is a death sentence for a company. Instantly. If they pay the bill in full the collection agency usually takes a cut (25% or so) and you get the rest. Better than not getting paid, and people learn to not fuck you around.

By Zeus Ex Machina

By Zero Tolerance

By DY_nasty

By Zeus Ex MachinaLetting go of your craziest dreams like being an astronaut or an aloof billionaire who fights crime at night

watching the adults who raised you get older and eventually die

pssh i'll see you on mars, chump

lol

Man, you guys need some HOPE in your lives. Adulthood isn't THAT bad.

Also as for your problem making new friends, have you tried calling some of your old college buddies. One of my best friends moved across country to Texas with his wife (and is living the dream of annually maxing out his Roth IRA…) and he calls me and the rest of the college drinking buddies a few hours every couple of weeks. In like 2 hours we catch up and its almost like talking face to face. He also picked up stuff like hunting and fishing with some co workers because its something guys in Texas do apparently to bond.

At a certain point, it's fruitless to reach out when nobody returns your voicemails.

By giririsss

By db

By livefromkyotoEasily money. There's no end to the number of things you *should* be doing with it if you're a *responsible* person. Mortgages, taxes, retirement savings, kids' education funds, car(s), 4 different kinds of insurance, charitable donations, home maintenance, vacation so your woman doesn't hate you, dental costs, optical costs, what, you haven't bought new winter tires? You have to do that after 5 years no matter what, etc. etc.

And I don't even have a house or kids.

The second one is time. Responsibilities suck it right out of you. You come to the point where you have to make hard choices. Am I going to read for pleasure, or keep up with what's on TV? I can't do both. Am I going to become a better keyboard player, or be a gamer? I can't do both. How much of a workout routine can I realistically maintain? etc. etc.

For me lately it's trying to update myself on the latest stuff involving my major since I let it slip for a while. It's very time consuming and so many people out there can probably do it better, feel like I should focus more on a niche part of it.

What holds me back from the freelance thing is people basically not paying and I don't want to strong arm which is what it honestly takes.

So don't take on the debt collection your self.

In AU there are very defined rules about it. Basically if you don't pay after your 2nd or 3rd notice, and a warning that it's going to collections, it can be sent to a debt collector.

Once there, it goes on your record. Which is a death sentence for a company. Instantly. If they pay the bill in full the collection agency usually takes a cut (25% or so) and you get the rest. Better than not getting paid, and people learn to not fuck you around.

I meant even strong-arming from the very beginning, which is something I just don't have the confidence for yet.

real talk - the hardest thing is having more shit to do and less time to do it in. The first things that are cut back are usually the things you enjoy.

and also less sleep

By pilonv1real talk - the hardest thing is having more shit to do and less time to do it in. The first things that are cut back are usually the things you enjoy.

and also less sleep

All of a sudden I have the money to buy any videogame or system I want, but I don't have the time to play them all.

I'm becoming more and more hesitant about having a kid since I already feel so cramped for time to enjoy the things I love. Plus the $$$ factor.

By pilonv1real talk - the hardest thing is having more shit to do and less time to do it in. The first things that are cut back are usually the things you enjoy.

and also less sleep

Sleep is the one thing that's non-negotiable for me. If I don't sleep well it compromises everything else I do.

The hardest thing for me is managing to have enough money and spending it right.

Today I bought a vacuum cleaner. Adulthood is coming at me.